Shut up and let me nap you paranoia filled hunk of meat!!! Lol
So much anxiety over anything today!!! :x
Plus went into work at the wrong time. Luckily it was 1/2 hr too early
Man my back decided to screw itself up today too
2 more hours!!! Then orange is the new black season 2!!!wooot!
A nice way to top off a most epic day of shopping and geocaching with my BFF Tyler!
So ibet a lot of people are gunna be mad at me
They changed their sale from 15% off mperks stuff to 15% off with credit card.
Guess that's what I get for lookin ahead on the schedule....
Describe an expensive (or excessive) use of the health care system. Do you think the expense was justified? (or excessive) us
This is gunna be long.
As I've mentioned in many of my other
posts, I wasted a ton of money, time, patience, life, and my job because
of this epic fail of a health care system.
Sorry if this gets a little personal or graphic. Viewer discretion is advised.
November 9th 2010
- My 22nd Birthday. I never have periods. Maybe a couple times a
year... but when I do have them, they are terribly bad. They are "I cant
even leave the toilet" bad. Literally. I can't go to work like this,
otherwise I would have to keep running back to the bathroom every 20
minutes, and in retail, that wouldn't fly. I went to a prompt care
doctor. He tested me for iron deficiency and said that everything was
fine, and gave me some prescription strength Aleeve, and made an
appointment to check out my girly parts. I didn't think the Aleeve would
stop the bad periods, not at all, but I took it, and crazily enough, it
stopped almost immedietely. I was up all night crying because I don't
want someone to see my girly parts! Noone had ever seen them but me. I
planned on canceling the appointment but I was crying over it
nonetheless. I stayed up till around 11am the next morning upset over
it. I finally slept... till around 1pm.
November 10th, 2010 - 1pm. I woke up for no reason..
extremely tired. I had no intention of doing ANYTHING but rolling over
and going back to sleep. I rolled over and attempted to do just that...
When suddenly I have this sharp pain in my left side of my chest. I get
random pains sometimes, so I think nothing of it, and try to sleep.. but
it comes back... and it keeps stabbing me. Stab stab stab. I bolt
upright. This is not right. Something is not right.
Holy crap, I'm having a heart attack. My blood pressure skyrockets.
The back of my neck and head gets really cold and tingly. My left arm
feels messed up, and there's this INCREDIBLY terrible feeling that this
is it. I'm going to die. I feel extremely claustrophobic, like nothing I
had ever felt before. I felt like I have to stand up, but sit down at
the same time. I feel like I have to talk about 20 different things at
random... changing subject every 10 seconds... and talk REALLY loud
But this is it. I'm going to die. I call my dad at work, and they
won't let me talk to him. He gets home in an hour, so I try and wait my
death out.. Crying hysterically. The pain keeps stabbing me, so I call
again and i SCREAM in their ear that I NEED to talk to him RIGHT NOW.
They say they will have him call me. 15 minutes later, he calls me, and I
tell him what is going on (Hysterically). I figure I may be having an
allergic reaction to the Aleeve. My dad asks me if I can wait until he
gets home from work, or if I need to go to the hospital right now... By
now, I'm a little bit calmer, the chest pains aren't so bad... so I
guess I can wait.
He gets home, and I hug him. My family never shows any affection
whatsoever. I had never hugged my dad before, but I hugged him now. I'm
on my deathbed, so I hug him. We get into his van and head back to
Prompt Care. I'm extremely exhausted, I'm dirty from not having a
shower, and I'm a hysterical sobbing mess. They say that my vitals are
good, and that I should go to the ER if I keep having problems.
I don't have insurance. So, If I die from this.. I Die. I can't afford the ER.
My brother had a glow in the dark band concert that night, so I went
to that, still a mess... but quieter. I kept having chest pains
consistantly.. several times an hour. Always on the top left of my
chest. I call my boyfriend on his lunch break, and I tell him what is
going on. He leaves work immedietly and meets us after the band concert.
(Which was really cool, dispite being in so much pain)
He's a wreck, thinking that I'm going to die as well. He holds my
hand and pets my head trying to get me to sleep. Believe me, it's hard
trying to get to sleep when there's a knife stabbing you in the chest
every 15 minutes or so. I eventually sleep...
I later find out that the thing that happened...the numbness.. coldness.. was called aLEGITIMATE panic attack. I had a few more after this throughout the years.
And so begins my quest online to find out what is wrong with me. I find nothing other than "Go to a doctor. Go to a doctor."
The 1st of the year, Obamacare aka Affordable Healthcare Act kicks in, and I get insurance.
January 1st, I was in a doctor's office. He said it sounded like high blood pressure. (Um, what?) So I go on BP pills.
No relief. So he does an EKG of my heart.. and it is slightly enlarged, which means I have leaky heart valve disease.
I go to a heart specialist.. he says my heart is fine, and that
my heart is a little bigger than normal hearts because -I- am a little
bigger than normal PEOPLE. He says my heart is 100% fine.
back to Doctor #1. He's pissed that I went to a heart specialist because
"HE" knows what "HE" is doing. He literally yells at me, swears at me,
and tells me to NEVER come back again. (I find out later, that this same
doctor sent my grandpa-in-law home during a heart attack, not to the
hospital. Also that he was arrested for healthcare fraud several times.
Needless to say, I tell everyone I meet not to go to this doctor.)
I try another doctor... and another... and another. Each one says
something different is wrong with me. I went to nearly every doctor I
could find around here that would accept my insurance.
"There is nothing"
"The pain is in your head"
"You're imagining it"
"It's a misaligned spine, and could be fixed with 12 more treatments"
"It's Sleep Apnea"
"Go to a mental health clinic, as there's nothing any doctor in the world can do for you"
"We won't accept you at MSU unless another doctor referrs you here"
"There's a huge wait at Mayo Clinic, and each appointment would be several months apart"
have abnormal female hair growth" (I never understood why she said this
as I don't have a beard, and I'm not particularly hairy.)
The overwhelming majority of them tell me the pain is in my head... I
was forced to quit my job because the pain was wearing my patience
extremely thin and the lack of ANYONE caring made me hate everyone and
anyone that screwed me over. Long story short - I worked at walmart.
2/3rds of the store had quit, and I was left alone by myself to deal
with ALL of the service counters and departments. Noone ever answered
their pages... The few people / managers left in the store would wander
outside or take 2 hour long breaks and not man their service areas... It
was me and the entire store some nights. They told me to not worry
about the customers. Don't serve all of them. IF they get mad, oh well.
didn't work like that. All my customers get 100% the best service no
matter what. I can't tell customers no when I have the ability to tell
I called out for a month, and then finally quit.
So I go to a mental health clinic.. I get evaluated, and I get
several appointments. Nothing is wrong with me to cause that pain.
Nothing in my mind at least. Instead, we talk about things like my
paranoia and anxiety. Eventually we find out that I have a mild form of
Autism called Aspergers. It makes sense considering how weird I am. (An
example - I have to blend spagetti sauce before I can eat it.. and I
have to wear socks inside out.)
My boyfriend through all of this
is great to me. He's extremely patient, understanding, and helps me
through all the appointments.. through my rage at all of the stupid
doctors who don't care about me or my health.. they want to randomly
diagnose me and give me a pill and shove me out the door, but make sure I
Come back later to give them more money. He rubbed my arm every night
to help me sleep. I hadn't been able to sleep well since then at all, as
you can imagine.
I get desperate. I stop drinking tap water. Maybe it's the florine in
the water. I stop eating anything with tomatoes in it.. Maybe it's an
acid thing... I stop eating bread - maybe it's a wheat allergy.
I try everything under the sun to try and figure out what is wrong
with me. I've posted on countless forums, message boards, sent tons of
emails, and done more research than I care to admit trying to find out
what is wrong with me...
I can't work like this, so I am unemployed. I make ends meet by
selling stuff on ebay, and whoring my graphic design skills out for
LITERALLY pennies an hour to some guy in Isreal.
The only relief I
found was prilosec. It helped the chest pains go down by about 20%. It
says to take it only for 2 weeks, but I took it for an entire year.
I felt on numerous occasions that dying was the only way out. The
only thing that kept me going was that I really wanted to have a family
of my own some day.
One week (December 2012), my boyfriend bought me a TON of
cranberry apple juice. It's my favorite juice, but it's really
expensive, so I don't have it very often. I drank exclusively that for a
My chest pains stopped.
What? What was it? Was it the no tomato diet? The no wheat diet? The cranberries antioxidant? Was it the lack of pop?
wracked my brain trying different things to pinpoint it. Christmas 2012
I went to my boyfriend's family's house. They only had sparkling juice
to drink, so I drank that. The chest pains came back, worse than ever. I
curled up into a ball in a chair and spent the entire evening like
It was pop. Anything carbonated.
I stopped drinking it.. The
chest pains stopped. I still anticipated them though.. Every 15 minutes,
I would feel like I have to wince, as I'd been doing it for years now..
But the chest pains never came... I was almost in a cloudy fog... Not
wincing.. not being in pain. This was foreign to me.
It was almost scary. I went back to the doctor one last time and
DEMANDED a stomach test. They gave me this REALLY nasty chalky white dye
to drink, and took x-rays of my stomach. I was there for 4 hours
drinking that stuff, and getting X-rayed. It sucked.
They found out I had a Hiatel Hernia. Well.. that's that then. I assume the carbination messes with that.
that my chest pains were gone, and I found out what happened, I refuse
to go to the doctors anymore. They did nothing but steal my money and
say whatever they wanted to say to get me to come back and give them
more of my money.
I've been chest pain free for a little over a year now, but it still
affects me mentally. I'm a nervous wreck a lot. I have issues trusting
people, and especially doctors. I worry constantly, more than I did in
But I'm glad that the pain has stopped. It comes back whenever I drink pop, so I switch to tea and juice.
my story.. bravo if you read it all. and pass the word along to any
friends who are having chest pains - try stop drinking pop... Before
someone else gets hurt or killed because of doctors incompetency.
Do i think the expense was justified? Hell no.
2 Magic - 10th Edition - Ballista Squad - Lightly Played
2 Magic - 10th Edition - Cho-Manno, Revolutionary - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Alara Reborn - Predatory Advantage - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Apocalypse - Coalition Honor Guard - Near Mint
1 Magic - Avacyn Restored - Silverblade Paladin - Near Mint
1 Magic - Classic Sixth Edition - Order of the Sacred Torch - Moderately Played
1 Magic - Coldsnap - Darien, King of Kjeldor - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Coldsnap - Darien, King of Kjeldor - Lightly Played
2 Magic - Commander - False Prophet - Near Mint
1 Magic - Commander - Spawnwrithe - Near Mint
1 Magic - Commander 2013 - Sphinx of the Steel Wind - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Conflux - Gwafa Hazid, Profiteer - Near Mint
1 Magic - Conflux - Magister Sphinx - Lightly Played Foil
1 Magic - Dark Ascension - Archangel's Light - Near Mint
2 Magic - Dark Ascension - Chalice of Life - Near Mint
1 Magic - Dragon's Maze - AEtherling - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Dragon's Maze - Teysa, Envoy of Ghosts - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Duel Decks: Elspeth vs. Tezzeret - Catapult Master - Near Mint
1 Magic - Duel Decks: Jace vs. Vraska - Wight of Precinct Six - Near Mint
4 Magic - Duel Decks: Phyrexia vs. the Coalition - Gerrard Capashen - Near Mint
2 Magic - Fifth Edition - Feldon's Cane - Moderately Played
1 Magic - Fourth Edition - Northern Paladin - Moderately Played
1 Magic - Gatecrash - Treasury Thrull - Near Mint
1 Magic - Gatecrash - Vizkopa Guildmage - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Guildpact - Dune-Brood Nephilim - Moderately Played
1 Magic - Innistrad - Laboratory Maniac - Near Mint
1 Magic - Innistrad - Witchbane Orb - Near Mint
1 Magic - Invasion - Crusading Knight - Moderately Played
5 Magic - Judgment - Spirit Cairn - Near Mint
1 Magic - Lorwyn - Ajani Goldmane - Heavily Played
1 Magic - Lorwyn - Brigid, Hero of Kinsbaile - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Lorwyn - Brigid, Hero of Kinsbaile - Near Mint
1 Magic - Magic 2010 (M10) - Gorgon Flail - Lightly Played Foil
1 Magic - Magic 2010 (M10) - Gorgon Flail - Near Mint Foil
1 Magic - Magic 2010 (M10) - Lightwielder Paladin - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Magic 2011 (M11) - Knight Exemplar - Near Mint
1 Magic - Magic 2012 (M12) - Manalith - Near Mint
1 Magic - Magic 2013 (M13) - Captain of the Watch - Moderately Played
1 Magic - Magic 2013 (M13) - Intrepid Hero - Lightly Played
3 Magic - Magic 2013 (M13) - Intrepid Hero - Near Mint
4 Magic - Magic 2013 (M13) - Odric, Master Tactician - Near Mint
1 Magic - Magic 2013 (M13) - Rhox Faithmender - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Mercadian Masques - Bog Witch - Near Mint
1 Magic - Mirrodin Besieged - Psychosis Crawler - Near Mint
1 Magic - Morningtide - Ballyrush Banneret - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Morningtide - Notorious Throng - Moderately Played
1 Magic - Morningtide - Thornbite Staff - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Nemesis - Avenger en-Dal - Moderately Played
1 Magic - Nemesis - Trickster Mage - Near Mint
2 Magic - Onslaught - Reminisce - Near Mint
1 Magic - Onslaught - True Believer - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Planar Chaos - Benalish Commander - Near Mint
1 Magic - Planar Chaos - Crovax, Ascendant Hero - Near Mint
1 Magic - Planechase 2012 - Pollenbright Wings - Near Mint
1 Magic - Planeshift - Ertai, the Corrupted - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Planeshift - Skyship Weatherlight - Lightly Played
2 Magic - Premium Deck Series: Fire and Lightning - Jaya Ballard, Task Mage - Lightly Played
2 Magic - Prophecy - Celestial Convergence - Lightly Played
2 Magic - Prophecy - Reveille Squad - Near Mint
2 Magic - Return to Ravnica - Azor's Elocutors - Near Mint
1 Magic - Return to Ravnica - Chromatic Lantern - Lightly Played
2 Magic - Return to Ravnica - Psychic Spiral - Near Mint
1 Magic - Rise of the Eldrazi - Rapacious One - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Scars of Mirrodin - Exsanguinate - Near Mint
1 Magic - Scars of Mirrodin - Venser's Journal - Near Mint
1 Magic - Shadowmoor - Spawnwrithe - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Shards of Alara - Sphinx Sovereign - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Tempest - Knight Of Dawn - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Theros - Fabled Hero - Near Mint
1 Magic - Time Spiral - Pentarch Paladin - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Timeshifted - Gaea's Blessing - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Weatherlight - Southern Paladin - Lightly Played
1 Magic - Zendikar - Felidar Sovereign - Moderately Played
2 Magic - Zendikar - Quest for Ancient Secrets - Near Mint
1 Magic - Zendikar - Ravenous Trap - Lightly Played
Super Stressfull day... Came into work 2 hours late. Had to deal with a jerk new manager... (Unrelated to the coming in late thing)
Daniel got mad because his car was going to be towed tomorrow unless we move it. I demanded we move it, and he didn't want to tonight...
and my arm feels REALLY messed... Like hot/cold by my elbow, and my pinkie and finger right next to it feels all weird
I AM TIRED. I get grumpeh when I'm tired. I also get weird.
*Grumps all over you!*
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? FEEL THE GRUMPEH FLOW ALL OVER YOU >:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Crappy day.. crap crap crap. Got in trouble because people LIE about what I do.. (Not employees)
It was almost as bad as the last few days at walmart.. couldn't keep it together... fucking mystery shopper lying pieces of shit. :/
I had a #1 rival who stole all my stuff, pictures, website stuff, including my forums members and all that... Perhaps they were just tired of my angst, and moved onto somoene elses angsty, lol.
Was looking her up today, found out she died last year.
I feel terrible.. I know we've matured past all that rivalry stuff (can you believe that I used to get jelous about that stuff!??) And I never got a chance to talk to her in the past 9 years or so :z
But blarg. I hate finding out people die. *Depressed all day now*
Is anyone able to give daniel a ride to work tomorrow? He's insistent on walking, but I am NOT letting him, and ill be at work. He works at 3..
I only started worrying about it since the chest pains thing, never before :'(
Like this day: http://www.boardforus.com/topic/
Buttttt... I dunno if I ever told you my thoughts on the subject that helped me feel better... (I Kind of went offtopic in the post LOL) ->http://www.boardforus.com/topic/
Even though 99% of my chestpains are gone, some days i still worry about it so much it disrupts... well, life, lol...
And i do my best to distract myself with things ;-; thats all I can do...
Hope ya feel better...
BTW - I do wanna play more NW with Rodney, but this week is PACKED with crap i gotta do till monday.
T____T Had sometthing new happen today... My right side of my head got really cold for no reason, and i felt on the verge of a panic attack ( It didn't go full blown, thankfully!)
Hot bath later and a walk arond walmart, and i feel a bit better now.. But jebus, really scary...
Went to a larger town today, went to a couple thrift stores n stuff~
Ate at old country buffet.
Ok, for some reason there have been a ton of earthworms in the house the past few days.
Strange, strange, strange D:
bleh, my chest feels tight up top today along with my neck. It's prolly due to my constant coughing v.v
Since ive stopped drinking pop, my chest pains have been almost zero. Looked up high fructose corn syrup allergy... and found this article.... Please check it out.
HFCS may be hurting us all...
Even though I suck at starting a conversation (this is why i do better in groups...)... I'll always respond if you talk to me Each of you was hand picked to be part of my 'inner circle' XD
So dont feel lonely guyz. I love you too
Also happy birthday to NESSIE <3
:O this cool
Epicness for the Crystal Dubstep girl = + 54364432643437647437643643%
So today i finished Link's awakening... also The color of water and the color of heaven
I've never been up this early and felt this good, like.. Ever. Lol.
hesaid "Do you want to go to chinese??" I said "I dont care" so he said "OK TO PONDEROSA!"
I used this oppurtunity to try everything at the salad bar.
So i did.
And i almost puked like 99 times. x_X