(no subject)
Jun. 24th, 2005 12:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caitarome and sp00ny like sorta got into a mini fight today.. or was it yesterday??? hmm..
well..
it was over weither he was gnna come or not..
which isnt a good thing to fight over because its IRL stuff...
well..
he duno if he can come because of unexpected stuff that might come up.....
but if he doesnt get his tickets in advance tehre'll be no seats leftt.. andd... thats not cool...
yeah i said soemthing stupid
"well you should keep a calandar and plan the unexpected plans"
well what i meant was.. put like
"possibly have this event happening on this day" on the calander..
just in case...
so i duno..
i duno if hes gunna come..
i duno if i WANT him to come..
i thought about it and im like
"do i really want him to come over.. i didnt feel any... magicness the last time he was over.. i dunno why,.. i WANTED to feel nervous.... but i didnt.. i wanted to feel like i did the alst time he ccame over.. when i got sick.. thats how im suposed to feel.. but i didnt.. maybe..subconsciencly i dont really like him as much as i think i do...
BUT hes al i really care about!! or so i think... i dont know what i care about anymore.. i dont care... about.. life.. or.. friends.. or.. video games.. heck i really dotn care about my ultimate life dream anymore... to have a family... because im so scared.. that.. ill mess things up.. i know ill mess things up.... what about bills and money.... and college... and.. what if we fight again.... I dont like how it got with alex.. it ENTERTAINED Me.. to fight with him.. i dont want it to get like that with sp00ny... becasue.. i realized.. hes all i really have.. hes the one person i can talk to ANYTHING about.. and he'll try to help me.. hes like.. my new intereactive journal.. lol.. but this is like my journal where i cant tell him about stuff cuz he'll get worried or whatnot.. and i understand he reads it.. but like.. as i said i want him to know everything about me.. all my feelings.. all about me.. so i guess its okay.. i just dont want him worried over this because i still love him.. more than anything in the world.. and i wouldnt have anyone else at ALL... *pets whiteface* its just my feelings are mixed right now.. perhaps because of hormones... because.. of /that time of the month/ which hasnt happened since january.... and when it hasnt happened in awhile.. my feelings get messed...
jebus...
well..
it was over weither he was gnna come or not..
which isnt a good thing to fight over because its IRL stuff...
well..
he duno if he can come because of unexpected stuff that might come up.....
but if he doesnt get his tickets in advance tehre'll be no seats leftt.. andd... thats not cool...
yeah i said soemthing stupid
"well you should keep a calandar and plan the unexpected plans"
well what i meant was.. put like
"possibly have this event happening on this day" on the calander..
just in case...
so i duno..
i duno if hes gunna come..
i duno if i WANT him to come..
i thought about it and im like
"do i really want him to come over.. i didnt feel any... magicness the last time he was over.. i dunno why,.. i WANTED to feel nervous.... but i didnt.. i wanted to feel like i did the alst time he ccame over.. when i got sick.. thats how im suposed to feel.. but i didnt.. maybe..subconsciencly i dont really like him as much as i think i do...
BUT hes al i really care about!! or so i think... i dont know what i care about anymore.. i dont care... about.. life.. or.. friends.. or.. video games.. heck i really dotn care about my ultimate life dream anymore... to have a family... because im so scared.. that.. ill mess things up.. i know ill mess things up.... what about bills and money.... and college... and.. what if we fight again.... I dont like how it got with alex.. it ENTERTAINED Me.. to fight with him.. i dont want it to get like that with sp00ny... becasue.. i realized.. hes all i really have.. hes the one person i can talk to ANYTHING about.. and he'll try to help me.. hes like.. my new intereactive journal.. lol.. but this is like my journal where i cant tell him about stuff cuz he'll get worried or whatnot.. and i understand he reads it.. but like.. as i said i want him to know everything about me.. all my feelings.. all about me.. so i guess its okay.. i just dont want him worried over this because i still love him.. more than anything in the world.. and i wouldnt have anyone else at ALL... *pets whiteface* its just my feelings are mixed right now.. perhaps because of hormones... because.. of /that time of the month/ which hasnt happened since january.... and when it hasnt happened in awhile.. my feelings get messed...
jebus...
