Oh.. i found it XD

http://delta.bluelaguna.net/aiemanaost/228_voiceless_poem.mp3

voiceless poem..

from Atelier Iris.

yeah this is the song i really like :D

'nother message from lappy guy

Holy crap d00d.....


"thanks so much. i have had three major heart attaacks and 15 congestive heart failures. been pretty good lately, however, i am loosing blood and they can not find where. LOL.. not really good. i was in for transfusions and another endoscopy. if you dont know what that is.. GOOD..dont look it up... ROFLMAO.. anyway.. they did not find anything so back to square one. they however are putting me on procreet.. do not know how to spell it since i have not seen it yet, but, it is supposes to intise the bone marrow to create more hemaglobin. got my fingers crossed. thanks again for yoru patience, i just pulled your label to ship thie item so i am sure not to forget. :) have a great night. Dr.Mattaway"



I suppose he can handle it pretty well though.. Bein a doctor and all o.o;

Back to the drawng board >_

So people called and said meh head CT scan was normal and to schedule a followup (next tuesday)



So im like..ok...




And now its like.

Noone knows what the hell is wrong with me....

and it keeps getting worse......

I cant even.. frikkin sit at the computer anymore without.. 'diapering myself'..


Duno if ive ever talked aboutthis before in meh journal as its a bit gross.. prolly..

But yeah. Im just gunna tell you, mr. journal and if you (the reader) dont like it.. you can ignore it.. or.. you know theres a little delete button by my name......

k so my main problem.. which i HATE HATE HAAATTTTEEEE and prevents me from doign a lot of things is...

I sweat.. A lot.. Perhaps combined with urine.. I dont know..

but lets cut to the chase.. My pants and underwear are practicly SOAKED unless i wear.. feminine hygiene.... (sorry i dont like the name of them >_>)

Yeah and their price is rising.. It's like....... effing 5$ for 36 of em...

If i use 1.. or sometimes 2 a day... thats.. less than a month.. ugh

NOT counting when i actually... HAVE.. el periodos.. Then it's more like im gunna need a lot >.<

*sigh* but yeah.. im sick of it.. having to change my underwear and/or pants 4-5 times a day... (not pants that much though)


Even when i do... wear protection. ugh.. its STILL sweats so much that im soaked and.. with those black moisture barrier chairs.. you can see all the sweat and i have to wipe it off discreatly.. >_<

Generally I try to position my coat on the chair so im sittin gon it.. so i dont have to do that.... but JESUS CHRIST!~!!!!

NOO ONE Knows whats going on.. and im sick of it.. I dont know if it has anything to do with it or not but my hands get really sweaty too.. Like at school... before this was a huge problem.. in 8th grade we had these black tables.. id put my hands on em and when i lift em up there were huuuuge wet spots... It did that on a white counter the other day at michigaN (doesnt) WORKS..

ALso my armpits sweat a lot.. no matter how much or how little deoderant/antiperpirant.. STILL HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGEEEEEEEEEEE sweating right there..

My "morman wear" underneith my shirt has gained permanent sweat marks there -_-..... just about all the way down the side..

And i CANT CONTROL ANY OF IT >_<<<< It doesnt matter.. anything it happens.. its the DEAD of WINTER and im STILL SOAKED!!!!!!!!

i hate it ;-;..




but the other 2 problems aside from this are..

-My constant nail picking
-Constant itching. everywhere.. my head, neck, arms, legs, feet, torso, ears, nose .. i ITCH EVERYWHERE... CONSTANTLY.. It almost feels as if i have bugs crawling EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME......

when i went to see sweet charity.. i noticed it a lot.. i kept itchin my head and moving and i wouldnt sit still and i felt SOOOOOOOOOOoooOOOOoOOooOooo embarrased ;-;


Get rid of these 3 main problems.. and i will be SUCH a happier person :(... not to mention i would go out more.. and be more active.. (BECAUSE I DONT SWEAT MY ASS OFF ;_:)


friggin hate my life..











Aside from that.. i was looking at some stuff and found this... and..


...wait wtf is this? http://www.travelblog.ca/photo.php?id=794
XD

those comments are preeeetty gross

Blarg

Yesterday i was all "woo! maybeill turn over a new leaf and be all woo and yay and shiny"



BUt today i feel like cutting myself off from the entire world and sitting in my room for the rest of my life. -_-.

I suck.

Ugh........

Dad: what are you so grumpy about today?
Me: Uh what is there NOT to be grumpy about???
Dad: i duno.. not broke your glasses? not stub your toe? not poop your pants?
Me: nooooo...
Dad: THATS WHY!


-_-