Grey's Anatomy :O!

So I know a certain someone on my friends list is obsessed with... GREY'S ANATOMY :D.

So i decided to rent it..

And it's pretty interesting...


...dispite it starts off with a guy and a girl not knowing eachother having random secks T_T..

But yeah..

and the one guy.. I think his name is george.. he is my favorite character..
but..

LOW AND BEHOLD... he has a bunch of people asking if he is gay or whatever...

why does all my favorite characters turn out being gay???

it's such a stupid ironic... pants thing, iduno.

Watch, he'll prolly turn out being gay and he was "just lying" or whatever..

and i really dont like Cristina.. she's... too....

korean. I duno i dont like her.

Meredith is okay..

Derek is pretty cool. I really like his voice.. but still.. THE RANDOM SECKS? T_T WHYYYY?? XD


Yeah

i also rented...

TMNT
The Fountain
and.. The Abandoned.

:o



...yeah and my neck hurts like a bishie on fire :((((((((((((

anddd... i have some pictures for you guys :O!!!



LOLOLOL ENEMA!
WAAHAHAHAH more enemas
ENGRISH!?!?!?!?!? Honestly.. how can you mess up that subtitle.. when it's already in english?? HMM?? BRAND NEW LOOO~~BE SOO~~NG.. HALLE HALLE LU JUAH! XD

WHO IS THAT???????? WHO????? WHO IS THAT??? XD that's yukito.. and hes SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME SEXY IN AN EXTREMELY ASEXUAL WAY!
wait whos THIS??? Awww its yuuuuuuu~~Kiiiiiiiiii~~TOOOOOOOO again ^_^_^_^..
you know what? yukito is gay :(((((( this just further prooooooves my theory of.. gay guys are hawt. and non gay guys arent.

Hmmzorz

Just in case you'd like to know...

I think. Alot. Not just today in particular. But in general. My whole life. I'm constantly thinking.. Constantly replaying conversations in my head, especially if it's something I have to say someone..

For ex: If Mrs. hartley asks me to tell Mr. Loveless the next day that I need his stapler to borrow for the next day in class.. I will replay the conversation over and over in my head, for a LONG time until it actually happens.

Like i will think...

"cait: Mr. L can i have your stapler?
Mr. L: Sure^_^_^^
Cait: k cool"

but i get soo paranoid what if he says NO??

Then i'll think.. what will my response be if he says No????

"Cait: Mr. L can i have your stapler?
Mr. L: NO??
Cait: Mrs. hartley asked me to get it for you.."

or even

"Cait: MR. L can i have your stapler?
Mr L: Perhaps
Cait: PLZ? Its for PRoject X"

but yeah, I HAVE to go through different scenarios on what happens.. ANd i dont just do this every so often.. I do it all the time.. constantly.. and i often get really sick because i think of too many negative consequence ones.. like

"Cait: Mr. L can i have your stapler?
Mr. L: NO.. because.. LAST WEEK you got a C- on your physics paper.. and gues what you FAIL! (totally random XD)
Cait: ;_;"

----

A particular time i remember getting really sick was twice...

THe first time.. was the day sp00ny was going to come.. for the first time.. I was like "ZOMG I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR DO O__O what if he hugs me? what if he KISSES me???? WHat if he doesnt like me and thinks im TOO FAT FOR HIM?? WHat if I dont like him for some reason???"

(note: this was back in the day when all i have ever done in terms of love was watched movies and i actually believed i was capable of a relationship IRL)

I got sick and had to stop playing video games with shane + travis and sit by the window...

Then when he came, i couldnt even look at him.
a.) cuz he was so effing cute. (well shane was too XD)
b.) Cuz im a shy pants man.


actually i think about the whole time i was there i didnt talk to him much at all.. and it was SOO AWKWARDDDDDDD and stuff yeah >.<

----

The second time :P (and she might comment on this saying "WTF???" XD) was when i went to go look at my laptop in jackson..

Now I had been talking to el Jessica over the interwebz from craigslist about laptop because.. as i mentioned earlier.. regular PC is 7 years old and is taking a huge dump in the technological toilet.. and this had.. you know.. XP and over 1ghz processor!! XDDD

so anywya i had been talking to her in email for awhile.. and I really really want this oppurtunity.. cuz.. you know.. NEW COMPUTER... COMPY GEEK. BROADBAND. yeah i wanted it BAD XD so i didnt tell my dad about any of this.. becuase i know he'd instantly say no because he hates me and wants me to stay on dialup and old stuff 4evr.

So it came down to the monday.. october first i believe it was.. It was a nice day out.. I printed out mapquest directions and went to the bank and got 220$ out... and i was starting to get that sick feeling... meeting someone off the net (again??) driving to a place I had never drove before.. (Ive only been to JCC in jackson and its not anywheres near downtown)


...when dad got home.. it started raining.. HARD.. My car has 1 speed of windshield wipers.. Slow. XD So at the last moment.. i decided i was going to tell my dad and see if i could get him to drive me.

He was pissed. XD But we went.. and i was extremely nervous and sick and stuff. but everything turned out fabulous.. so im glad i did it. It was probably the boldest thing i have ever done XD (Im sooo lame!)

-----

I think thats why I never do anything... Esp. anything teenage link.. or risky or anything.. because I get SO SICK beforehand, that i feel just like i wanna die XD.

A lot of times when i write a really long ranty bitchy LJ entry i feel really sick checking the comments on it.. cuz im afraid that someones gunna yell at me for being bitchy or something XD

and believe it or not, being yelled at.. Doing something WRONG.. is one of my greatest fears in life. When people yell at me (for any reason) I just about instantly break down and start crying.. cuz i feel so bad XD.


I guess i'm an obsessive perfectionest or something.. I go through the life of stoicism.... Not willing to take the change at happiness.. just because I cant handle the sickness of rejection, or the possibility of a negative outcome.

I think it's prettty sad.. and i wish i wasnt like this, but meh, untill they come out with self-induced amnesia, im stuck with it, LOL.


and for the record.. if they did invent a way of erasing your memories.. your personality.. I would definately take it.. 100%. Because i really hate all my psychological abnormalities >.<

..and even though I as i know myself, would be gone, I would be happy to know that I would get a second chance at not being a complete (for lack of a better word) psychotic pussy. XDDDD


*Travis runs in, holding a huuuge teletubby*

Travis: NEVER EVER SAY THAT WORD AGAIN!!!

XDDD!!!


But yeah, I really dont think there are any memories that I would miss, honestly. I havent really had hardly any happy times in my life. Just about the coolest things I ever did was when i was really little.... or involved people/things that are dead or dying now.

Like for ex: (and ive told you guys this countless times) I love travis the cat more than anything ever.. And I really dont want to have that memory anymore. because he's gone. He died before he was even 2 years old. He was mortally wounded just days after he turned 1.

I really enjoyed going to the rabbit shows with my mom.. but guess what? All my rabbits i care about are dead. Digger died the other day. My mom died in 2005. I will never go to another rabbit show again, so i dont care to that have that memory anymore.

I think that that's a very strange way of thinking, perhaps. Most people say like "better to have love and lost then to never have loved at all" or whatever.

I say the other way around :x. I like to live in the moment. If it's not going on RIGHT NOW..then i dont care to even acknowledge it's existance :x

I'm so forking crazy XD