caitaro | Stupidest Essay. EVER.

XD Brendan sent me this email with his friends' essay on it.. It's hillarious. Read.

The following was written by my friend Jordan.

In the past two hundred years, over one million Americans have died for their country. Monuments have been built and speeches have been delivered, honoring these American heroes. America is now engaged in a war where there are no heroes, no monuments or accolades - only victims. Our society has declared war on its most helpless members - our unborn children. Since that war was declared on January 22, 1973, there have been over 35 million deaths.
Abortion had affected many people these past years. Rape and incest, as reasons for legalizing abortion, are nothing more than emotional screens behind which those profiting from abortion choose to hide. Pregnancy from rape is extremely rare. A study of one thousand rape victims who were treated after the rape reported no pregnancies. There are no known studies of incest cases. Medically we know pregnancy in these cases would be rare. The reasons for which the public is approving of abortions is not always the reason of the person who wants to have an abortion. Women do not have abortions because of rape, deformed fetuses, or because their physical life is in danger. But these are the best reasons accepted by the public. Being poor, too young, unmarried, and not wanting a baby are the most unpopular reasons for having an abortion and are looked down upon by the public but are the most common reasons for having an abortion.
Abortion is legal in this country until the day of birth! Many people do not know this. If you tell them, they refuse to believe it. Yet, the fact remains that a woman can legally abort her baby at any time during her pregnancy. The only thing that changes is the method and the cost. Since abortion was legalized in 1973, approximately 1,500,000 babies have been aborted each year. One out of six women in this country have had abortions. Many times, they were not told about the procedure or the risks involved. They were most likely not informed about the development of the unborn baby inside of them. Abortion is called a “choice”. If this is true, women should know what they are choosing!
Abortion is not some magical surgery which turns back time to make a woman "un-pregnant." Instead, it is a real life event which is always very stressful and often traumatic. Once we accept that abortion is itself an event with dramatic effects on a woman's life. We must carefully look at the several methods to abort a baby. Here is one of the common ones. Suction-Aspiration In this method, the cervical muscle ring must be paralyzed and stretched open. The abortionist then inserts a hollow plastic tube with a knife-like edge into the uterus. The suction tears the baby’s body into pieces. The placenta is cut from the uterine wall and everything is sucked into a bottle. There are other surgical methods and pills.
In 1995 the Republicans gained control of Congress there had been promised a partial-birth abortion ban. Congress had followed through twice but was unable to overcome the Presidential veto. Now since President Bush has been in office the has been a ban on partial birth abortion.
Abortion is and will remain a controversial subject. The question is will the law ever be changed ¿ Abortion has affected nearly everyone. Most people know someone that has had an abortion or had one themselves. Most of the abortions done in Montana are done in Missoula and Yellowstone counties. So this problem is close to home.
I do believe this is an important issue for us to learn about because there are many people our age being affected by this matter. We need to understand that this is a serious matter involving life and death. We need to be responsible for are actions and not take what we think is the easy way out. I believe abortion should be banned. In the words of Pope John Paul 2nd “ A nation that kills its’ own children is a nation without hope”

OK so this essay starts off with saying the war is bad.. WEll duh its bad.. But this paper isnt even about the war o_O. Then it goes on to describe how rape an incest pregnancies are rare.. Um.. 99% of the time the penis -> vagina.. You get pregnant. Yeah. its nothing RARE.. it ALWAYS happens.. And so this paper is very anti abortionfull..
Hmmm well if we DIDNT have abortion.. People would be more poorer. Orphanages would be overcrowded.. Our planet would be more overrun with stupid people.. This making everything cost more cuz we gotta FEED THEM. So yeah.. The only bad thing about abortion is.. It MAY hurt the feelings of some people woo~~ omggg hurt feeelingsss.. hurt feelings are sooo bad.. guess what.. People get hurt feelings from being dumped by a crackwhore. Does that make going out with a crackwhore illegal? NO.

I think insted of focusing on making our planet more crowded.. overrunning the earth... and increasing prices and killing the economy... we can make it BETTER by using ABORTION.. to at least CONTROL the population. Humans have no natural predators.. We're basically the only thing that doesnt.. Animals dont need abortion because THEY DIE. Humans DONT. we need to control ourselves somehow...

I think insted of worrying on how to make our planet more overcroweded.. We should be worrying about if your kid is going to be a crackwhore when he grows up. If his freinds are. If your parents are. Yeah.

And last time i checked.. "its" doesnt have an apostophe after it.

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