*sniff*

[caitaro]

went to bed about 3...

layed there..



...layed there...



....thought about retard...


...and now im still up.

I really miss retard and travis.. and tooter.

I'm lucky to have RO so i can put it out of my mind.. I think i did too good a job though.

as when Travis (person) was over last weekend.. he asked if i was okay... i said ya and had no idea why i wouldnt be okay..

and then he told me.

Yeah...

Sure ive put them out of my mind.. but at night i think of them.. and i cant sleep..

and i really really miss them..

Sure retard was incredibly stupid.. but i loved him..

and Travis.. man.. dont even get me started.. I loved travis more than ive ever loved anything.. and he was tooken away from me.. very slowly..



I dont know why these things happen to me..

Victoria has literally 17 cats and theyve lived forever...

and i cant get another cat.. dad is like blarg.


but sooner or later.. travis and retard and tooter are just gunna end up like tinker.. or my mom.. or my grandma.. I havent thought about tinker in forever..

And im not gunna remember them.. and im not gunna remember how much i loved Travis and that is so depressing...



*sob*

I hate emotions..

sadness and frustration are the only 2 emotions i cant control yet...