Somewhat deep convo
Nov. 14th, 2009 03:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caitaro[23:55] <Ganteka> I played Runescape once
[23:55] <~Cait> "Noone else is worthy of being submaster"
[23:55] <Ganteka> That's a real game. Talk about clans...
[23:55] <~Cait> I dont really see anyone at -all-
[23:56] <~Cait> wanting to put in effort..
[23:56] <@Salamix> Well, to be fair, this is about the most lax game in the planet
[23:56] <Ganteka> yeah...
[23:56] <~Cait> and gan - runescape dun even have guilds that i know of o_O. they have those.. numbered capes.
[23:56] <@Salamix> I mean, I'm top 50!
[23:57] <@Salamix> And I take so many breaks its not funny!
[23:57] <~Cait> Its really impressive though, that out of all the ppl in the whole world, you are in the top :3
[23:57] <~Cait> sure the game is lax, but
[23:57] <~Cait> it shows -you- are more dedicated + modivated than most people.
[23:58] <Ganteka> ...
[23:58] <Ganteka> in a video game
[23:58] <Ganteka> != rl
[23:58] <@Salamix> I'm not though!
[23:58] <~Cait> you say that, but you are
[23:58] <@Salamix> I complain, quit, and go away all the time.
[23:58] <~Cait> if you werent you wouldnt log on anymore, at all, ever.
[23:58] <@Salamix> This is like 2 months of trying!
[23:58] <~Cait> Gan - yeah, so?
Session Time: Sat Nov 14 00:00:00 2009
[00:00] <@Salamix> I do have a lot more commitment IRL.
[00:01] <~Cait> give an example o.o
[00:01] <@Salamix> I used to blow at shooting a basketball until I spent a couple weeks doing 30 minute practices.
[00:01] <@Salamix> Now I'm pretty middling.
[00:01] <~Cait> Oh o.0
[00:01] <@Salamix> I still blow at dribbling though.
[00:01] <~Cait> why do you have the desire irl?
[00:02] <~Cait> because of competition?
[00:02] <@Salamix> Boredom
[00:02] <@Salamix> Why does anyone ever do anything
[00:02] <~Cait> salam
[00:02] <~Cait> that is a very, very deep question
[00:03] <@Salamix> Not at all
[00:03] <@Salamix> Why does anyone ever do anything? Because they can.
[00:03] <~Cait> No, it is
[00:03] <Ganteka> NO
[00:03] <Ganteka> DAMNIT
[00:03] <Ganteka> THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER SALAMIX
[00:03] <Ganteka> YOU HAVE IT ALL GODDAMN WRONG
[00:03] <~Cait> it isnt for you, because you dont like to elaborate
[00:03] <Ganteka> People do things,
[00:03] <~Cait> and stuff.
[00:03] <Ganteka> Because they /want/ to
[00:03] <~Cait> Id say probably not gan
[00:03] <@Salamix> Why does murder even though it's illegal and morally wrong? Because they can.
[00:04] <~Cait> kids dont like to go to school,
[00:04] <~Cait> But they do anyway
[00:04] <Ganteka> yeah
[00:04] <@Salamix> People do things they don't want to all the time.
[00:04] <Ganteka> They want to go to school
[00:04] <Ganteka> Because look at the alternatives
[00:04] <~Cait> i never wanted to go to school
[00:04] <Ganteka> Grounded?
[00:04] <Ganteka> Your parents kick you out of the house?
[00:04] <~Cait> I whined to transfer schools or be homeschooledf
[00:04] <~Cait> For 9 years
[00:04] <Ganteka> Foster parents?
[00:04] <~Cait> 9 YEARS
[00:04] <~Cait> but i still went everyday
[00:04] <Ganteka> DAMNIT CAIT
[00:04] <~Cait> even got pefect attendance twice..
[00:04] <Ganteka> BECAUCE THE ALTERNATIVES ARE WORSE
[00:04] <Ganteka> IT'S IN YOUR INTEREST TO GO TO SCHOOL
[00:04] <Ganteka> THEREFORE YOU WANT TO
[00:04] <@Salamix> I always racked up 15-25 abscences.
[00:05] <~Cait> lol
[00:05] <Ganteka> again, because you wanted to
[00:05] <Ganteka> Everything you do is because you want to
[00:05] <~Cait> Ok
[00:05] <Ganteka> besides dying
[00:05] <~Cait> explain this gan
[00:05] <~Cait> Why in the world did i get perfect attendance?
[00:05] <~Cait> WHY did i want it?
[00:05] <~Cait> it benefits me zero
[00:05] <Ganteka> Because you didn't want the alternatives
[00:05] <Ganteka> Like, parents getting mad at you. Or whatever
[00:05] <~Cait> which was what? get to stay home a few days from the place i dispised.
[00:05] <~Cait> I wanted to stay home more, lol
[00:06] <Ganteka> Well then why didn't you?
[00:06] <~Cait> I dont know
[00:06] <~Cait> thats what i ask you
[00:06] <Ganteka> Dude, I don't know what your life's like
[00:06] <~Cait> Why am i so afraid of talking to people?
[00:06] <Ganteka> You chose to. And ultimately, everything you choose to do you do because it's in your favor, ultimately
[00:06] <~Cait> I duno
[00:06] <~Cait> it seems really silly to me
[00:06] <~Cait> But i just cant do it
[00:07] <Ganteka> ...
[00:07] <~Cait> one time on the way home from work i realized that
[00:07] <~Cait> and i cried a bit
[00:07] <Ganteka> .......................................
[00:07] <~Cait> "Why am i afraid of people? nice people that want me to talk?"
[00:07] <~Cait> "Theres no reason to"
[00:07] <~Cait> i felt all inspired and stuff
[00:07] <~Cait> But it didnt change me at all.
[00:07] <Ganteka> What does that have to do with anything?
[00:07] <~Cait> its something i (dont) do that i have no reason for
[00:08] <~Cait> nothing logical, nothing i can put into words anyway
[00:08] <Ganteka> because you're terrified
[00:08] <Ganteka> Who'd want to do something they're scared of?
[00:08] <~Cait> lots of people
[00:08] <~Cait> People who rock climb without safety gear
[00:08] <~Cait> or go skydiving or whatnot
[00:09] <@Salamix> I play I Wanna Be the Guy. That's frightening.
[00:10] <Ganteka> They do it for the high they get
[00:10] <Ganteka> the adrenaline
[00:10] <Ganteka> or the pride from the achievement
[00:10] <~Cait> and when i talk to people
[00:10] <~Cait> people i like
[00:10] <~Cait> i do get a high, an adrenaline, an obsession
[00:11] <~Cait> when i first started working
[00:11] <~Cait> I rambled on to salam a ton about carol
[00:11] <~Cait> ..and i like her a ton
[00:11] <~Cait> but i dont see her barely ever anymore.
[00:11] <~Cait> when i went into work
[00:11] <~Cait> i wouldnt check to see if she had the day off or not
[00:11] <~Cait> Because if she did
[00:11] <~Cait> i would get depressed and not wanna work
[00:11] <~Cait> So i worked away from her area, with hope she would go to work that day,
[00:12] <~Cait> by the time i got up to her area, if she want there, id still have the modivation of not knowing to do most of my work well
[00:12] <~Cait> rather than be depressed.
[00:12] <~Cait> On the depressed days...
[00:12] <~Cait> id think about salam, tbh
[00:12] <~Cait> and id say to myself
[00:12] <~Cait> "well..
[00:12] <~Cait> ...salam would want these to look this way, that would be impressive to him"
[00:12] <~Cait> i mean even though hed never see the rugs or anything
[00:12] <~Cait> the thought of making him happy drove me,
[00:13] <~Cait> and this was before i even told him i liked him at all.
[00:13] <@Salamix> Uh...do you still say that?
[00:13] <~Cait> Not really, lol
[00:13] <~Cait> Insted i think about
[00:13] <@Salamix> Oh good. I'm a bit messy. I'd never notice.
[00:13] <~Cait> "OMG last night when salam ssaid such and such man that was funny.. "
[00:13] <~Cait> then i smile a ton and am happy
[00:14] <~Cait> LOL SALAM
[00:15] <~Cait> even though i say im very organized
[00:15] <~Cait> and love to clean
[00:15] <~Cait> im also pretty lazy..
[00:15] <~Cait> so sometimes i end up with accumulation
[00:15] <~Cait> *points to paper plate on the stand next to her*
[00:15] <~Cait> thats only been there for a few hrs
[00:15] <~Cait> but occasionally ill get something thatll sit for a day or two
[00:16] <~Cait> then when i get sick of seeing accumulation ill go on cleaning spree ^^
[00:17] <~Cait> I used to clean a lot more before trickster
[00:17] <~Cait> But im a bit addicted to guild chat(s)
[00:17] <~Cait> i cant ever -not- be on if im conscious and home
[00:18] <@Salamix> HEADBAND WOO
[00:18] <~Cait> ohh..
[00:27] <Ganteka> bye guys
[00:27] * Ganteka is away: I'M ALWAYS THINKING OF HER
[00:28] <~Cait> :x
[00:28] <Ganteka> :XXXXXX
in other news
happy bday aleesa.
[23:55] <~Cait> "Noone else is worthy of being submaster"
[23:55] <Ganteka> That's a real game. Talk about clans...
[23:55] <~Cait> I dont really see anyone at -all-
[23:56] <~Cait> wanting to put in effort..
[23:56] <@Salamix> Well, to be fair, this is about the most lax game in the planet
[23:56] <Ganteka> yeah...
[23:56] <~Cait> and gan - runescape dun even have guilds that i know of o_O. they have those.. numbered capes.
[23:56] <@Salamix> I mean, I'm top 50!
[23:57] <@Salamix> And I take so many breaks its not funny!
[23:57] <~Cait> Its really impressive though, that out of all the ppl in the whole world, you are in the top :3
[23:57] <~Cait> sure the game is lax, but
[23:57] <~Cait> it shows -you- are more dedicated + modivated than most people.
[23:58] <Ganteka> ...
[23:58] <Ganteka> in a video game
[23:58] <Ganteka> != rl
[23:58] <@Salamix> I'm not though!
[23:58] <~Cait> you say that, but you are
[23:58] <@Salamix> I complain, quit, and go away all the time.
[23:58] <~Cait> if you werent you wouldnt log on anymore, at all, ever.
[23:58] <@Salamix> This is like 2 months of trying!
[23:58] <~Cait> Gan - yeah, so?
Session Time: Sat Nov 14 00:00:00 2009
[00:00] <@Salamix> I do have a lot more commitment IRL.
[00:01] <~Cait> give an example o.o
[00:01] <@Salamix> I used to blow at shooting a basketball until I spent a couple weeks doing 30 minute practices.
[00:01] <@Salamix> Now I'm pretty middling.
[00:01] <~Cait> Oh o.0
[00:01] <@Salamix> I still blow at dribbling though.
[00:01] <~Cait> why do you have the desire irl?
[00:02] <~Cait> because of competition?
[00:02] <@Salamix> Boredom
[00:02] <@Salamix> Why does anyone ever do anything
[00:02] <~Cait> salam
[00:02] <~Cait> that is a very, very deep question
[00:03] <@Salamix> Not at all
[00:03] <@Salamix> Why does anyone ever do anything? Because they can.
[00:03] <~Cait> No, it is
[00:03] <Ganteka> NO
[00:03] <Ganteka> DAMNIT
[00:03] <Ganteka> THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER SALAMIX
[00:03] <Ganteka> YOU HAVE IT ALL GODDAMN WRONG
[00:03] <~Cait> it isnt for you, because you dont like to elaborate
[00:03] <Ganteka> People do things,
[00:03] <~Cait> and stuff.
[00:03] <Ganteka> Because they /want/ to
[00:03] <~Cait> Id say probably not gan
[00:03] <@Salamix> Why does murder even though it's illegal and morally wrong? Because they can.
[00:04] <~Cait> kids dont like to go to school,
[00:04] <~Cait> But they do anyway
[00:04] <Ganteka> yeah
[00:04] <@Salamix> People do things they don't want to all the time.
[00:04] <Ganteka> They want to go to school
[00:04] <Ganteka> Because look at the alternatives
[00:04] <~Cait> i never wanted to go to school
[00:04] <Ganteka> Grounded?
[00:04] <Ganteka> Your parents kick you out of the house?
[00:04] <~Cait> I whined to transfer schools or be homeschooledf
[00:04] <~Cait> For 9 years
[00:04] <Ganteka> Foster parents?
[00:04] <~Cait> 9 YEARS
[00:04] <~Cait> but i still went everyday
[00:04] <Ganteka> DAMNIT CAIT
[00:04] <~Cait> even got pefect attendance twice..
[00:04] <Ganteka> BECAUCE THE ALTERNATIVES ARE WORSE
[00:04] <Ganteka> IT'S IN YOUR INTEREST TO GO TO SCHOOL
[00:04] <Ganteka> THEREFORE YOU WANT TO
[00:04] <@Salamix> I always racked up 15-25 abscences.
[00:05] <~Cait> lol
[00:05] <Ganteka> again, because you wanted to
[00:05] <Ganteka> Everything you do is because you want to
[00:05] <~Cait> Ok
[00:05] <Ganteka> besides dying
[00:05] <~Cait> explain this gan
[00:05] <~Cait> Why in the world did i get perfect attendance?
[00:05] <~Cait> WHY did i want it?
[00:05] <~Cait> it benefits me zero
[00:05] <Ganteka> Because you didn't want the alternatives
[00:05] <Ganteka> Like, parents getting mad at you. Or whatever
[00:05] <~Cait> which was what? get to stay home a few days from the place i dispised.
[00:05] <~Cait> I wanted to stay home more, lol
[00:06] <Ganteka> Well then why didn't you?
[00:06] <~Cait> I dont know
[00:06] <~Cait> thats what i ask you
[00:06] <Ganteka> Dude, I don't know what your life's like
[00:06] <~Cait> Why am i so afraid of talking to people?
[00:06] <Ganteka> You chose to. And ultimately, everything you choose to do you do because it's in your favor, ultimately
[00:06] <~Cait> I duno
[00:06] <~Cait> it seems really silly to me
[00:06] <~Cait> But i just cant do it
[00:07] <Ganteka> ...
[00:07] <~Cait> one time on the way home from work i realized that
[00:07] <~Cait> and i cried a bit
[00:07] <Ganteka> .......................................
[00:07] <~Cait> "Why am i afraid of people? nice people that want me to talk?"
[00:07] <~Cait> "Theres no reason to"
[00:07] <~Cait> i felt all inspired and stuff
[00:07] <~Cait> But it didnt change me at all.
[00:07] <Ganteka> What does that have to do with anything?
[00:07] <~Cait> its something i (dont) do that i have no reason for
[00:08] <~Cait> nothing logical, nothing i can put into words anyway
[00:08] <Ganteka> because you're terrified
[00:08] <Ganteka> Who'd want to do something they're scared of?
[00:08] <~Cait> lots of people
[00:08] <~Cait> People who rock climb without safety gear
[00:08] <~Cait> or go skydiving or whatnot
[00:09] <@Salamix> I play I Wanna Be the Guy. That's frightening.
[00:10] <Ganteka> They do it for the high they get
[00:10] <Ganteka> the adrenaline
[00:10] <Ganteka> or the pride from the achievement
[00:10] <~Cait> and when i talk to people
[00:10] <~Cait> people i like
[00:10] <~Cait> i do get a high, an adrenaline, an obsession
[00:11] <~Cait> when i first started working
[00:11] <~Cait> I rambled on to salam a ton about carol
[00:11] <~Cait> ..and i like her a ton
[00:11] <~Cait> but i dont see her barely ever anymore.
[00:11] <~Cait> when i went into work
[00:11] <~Cait> i wouldnt check to see if she had the day off or not
[00:11] <~Cait> Because if she did
[00:11] <~Cait> i would get depressed and not wanna work
[00:11] <~Cait> So i worked away from her area, with hope she would go to work that day,
[00:12] <~Cait> by the time i got up to her area, if she want there, id still have the modivation of not knowing to do most of my work well
[00:12] <~Cait> rather than be depressed.
[00:12] <~Cait> On the depressed days...
[00:12] <~Cait> id think about salam, tbh
[00:12] <~Cait> and id say to myself
[00:12] <~Cait> "well..
[00:12] <~Cait> ...salam would want these to look this way, that would be impressive to him"
[00:12] <~Cait> i mean even though hed never see the rugs or anything
[00:12] <~Cait> the thought of making him happy drove me,
[00:13] <~Cait> and this was before i even told him i liked him at all.
[00:13] <@Salamix> Uh...do you still say that?
[00:13] <~Cait> Not really, lol
[00:13] <~Cait> Insted i think about
[00:13] <@Salamix> Oh good. I'm a bit messy. I'd never notice.
[00:13] <~Cait> "OMG last night when salam ssaid such and such man that was funny.. "
[00:13] <~Cait> then i smile a ton and am happy
[00:14] <~Cait> LOL SALAM
[00:15] <~Cait> even though i say im very organized
[00:15] <~Cait> and love to clean
[00:15] <~Cait> im also pretty lazy..
[00:15] <~Cait> so sometimes i end up with accumulation
[00:15] <~Cait> *points to paper plate on the stand next to her*
[00:15] <~Cait> thats only been there for a few hrs
[00:15] <~Cait> but occasionally ill get something thatll sit for a day or two
[00:16] <~Cait> then when i get sick of seeing accumulation ill go on cleaning spree ^^
[00:17] <~Cait> I used to clean a lot more before trickster
[00:17] <~Cait> But im a bit addicted to guild chat(s)
[00:17] <~Cait> i cant ever -not- be on if im conscious and home
[00:18] <@Salamix> HEADBAND WOO
[00:18] <~Cait> ohh..
[00:27] <Ganteka> bye guys
[00:27] * Ganteka is away: I'M ALWAYS THINKING OF HER
[00:28] <~Cait> :x
[00:28] <Ganteka> :XXXXXX
in other news
happy bday aleesa.
