Cait's Ramblings

That post that was sparked by the previous entry..

But yeah.. I like Shane more every day..

..and ive been told by people ive explained the situation to that in their viewpoint it looks as if shane is using me and he's a dirty man who is just USING me but...


but you know.. after a lot of thinking.. and questions on yahoo answers.. I figure.. ... well.. There's not just a few kinds of people ... 1.) lover, 2.) best freind, 3.) friend, 4.) ok.. 5.) hate ..... there's a spot inbetween best freind and lover.. in addition to spots inbetween all of those spots..

and i think that's where shane lies...
Shane is more than a best friend.. yet not a lover.

I believe i dont ever really want a lover.. I guess. I just want.. the in between.. what me and shane have..


"As long as you're comfortable, don't be conserned about figuring out the right term for feelings, or box to put it in. A good thing can be something more than friends, but less than a lover."

It's just like everything else now..


There is no.. Emo.. goth.. prep.. slut.. there is inbetween.. there is more than just a BOX to put something in.. more than just a label. More than democrat and republican.. it all boils down to the issues in politics for dem + rep. people shouldnt identify as D or R, but on what stand they take on the issues.


as in with relationship.. it's not as if shane is my love or best freind.. it's how we feel together and common interests and what makes us happy...

and there is no word.. for the feelings i have.. no english word at least.. most people tell whoever "I love you" because thats the universal word right?

I think... What I feel twords people.. is not hate.. not love.. not freindship.. but feelings that dont have words (yet)..

yet i have to use those words that most closely identify with those feelings until those words are invented...

Yes i know i could invent some random word and call it that feeling.. but feelings cannot be discribed with words. Not mine anyway. They are just there.. and I've just gott to try and communicate them through physical actions... that's the only way.


omfg.. i feel so.. inspired and enlightened right now.. that i finally realize what Shane is to me and..

damnit this sounds so cheesey..

but i NEVER EVER... get that.. 'finally the idea has snapped' feeling.. or.. inspired. i am NEVER EVER inspired.. and stuff..

and when i am.. it's such a wonderfull feeling..

Which brings me back to another problem..

what do i do with this wonderfull feeling???

Im guna go take a shower and think about this some more...