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caitaroI wrote "Cut my bangs" on the to do list... about 2 weeks ago...
since i have sk00l tomarrow, i figured itd be nice if he did it before school, so i can, you know, drive with less distractions.
So at supper today (8 hours ago) i asked him if he could cut them.
and sew up my backpack
and he said he could
So he goes to indiana to get cigarettes with witch-man-vampire.. Cuz hes a blithering addicted idiot
He spends like 2hrs extra down there than it takes to GET the cigarattes.
He comes back.. and im sewing up my underwear, cuz theyre all holy and we cant afford new ones (TMI i know)...
So when my thread runs out, he starts getting new thread on (not for the backpack)
and im like "Wth, i can do that AFTER you go to bed, just do my backpack now"
so he CONTINUES to get the underwear thread redone and says "well I duno if you know how~~" or some shyt.
It's like..... ....Um... Okay what about the phase where i was into sewing up EVERYTHING.. I've made like 9 Domo-kuns, Corys pillow, and the slut dress. I know how to sew by now... and he KNOWS i know.
Then he does the backpack, and i come out here to set up my shop
and so i come to O/X for a bit
finish up my underwear..
and ask if its too late to cut my bangs...
he dinks around not giving me an answer
Corys like "You dont even need them cut!"
so i show him "See, below my eye, Cant see. It's annoying"
SO he pulls down his hair and says "SEE MINES LONG TOO AND I CAN SEE JUST FINE"... -___- what an idiot
dad says "Cory i asked you if you wanted it cut last week"
...Still nothing from my dad.... twords me.
and i said .."okay... " and i start to walk out here to do it myself....
so he goes all "BLARG BLARG"
and im all "well YOU SAID you would, and YOU SPENT EXTRA TIME down there, even though you knew you had stuff to do here!!!"
So he says "well Im kinda tired now, I dont wanna mess it up"
So i said "Okay, well just go to bed, and ill do it myself."
so he gets pissed, turns the light on and says "COME HERE NOW AND WE'LL DO IT"
so im like "Um hell no, youre pissed and tired, I dont think so"
so hes yellin "GET UR ASS OUT HERE".. So im "To Hell im gunna be around some angry tired pissed man" so i go to my bathroom and do it myself.
luckily he went to bed while i was in there
So then i took a shower...
...and im back out here.. gunna get some meds.. and hopefully go to sleep.
*sigh*
Normally I would just be like "okay, just do it tomarrow"
and leave it like that.
but all this LITTLE STUPID SHIT HE DOES, piles up, pisses me off, and makes me tell him about it.
Also if he didnt sell his soul to Mrs. Dracula, he would have gotten back 2 hours earlier.... and we wouldnt have even had this problem to begin with!
Either way.. Why does he ask CORY things like "Do you want your hair cut" when he REALLY doesnt need it.. and when im practically blinded by my bangs, he doesnt give a shit.
Why is it.. when cory has something HE "needs" done, like havin the Coil put on his dirtbike... he drops what hes doing and goes and works on corys dirtbike for ~4 hours..
I hardly EVER ask anything of him.. and he NEVER asks me.. ... well.. ANYTHING...
He doesnt care how i feel about anything... (or, paying homage to my last few posts.. How the school feels about anything)
When I talk to him about things... I ask for his opinion occsaionally.. and he goes "What?"
....Cuz he doesnt even LISTEN AT ALL.....
the times he does answer me, i wonder if he just says "yup" and doesnt even know what he's "Yup"-ing to!!!!!
but the one time i ask him for 40 minutes of his time.. for NON-ENTERTAINMENT-PURPOSE STUFF...
(ie: my backpack and hair) he doesnt even care.... Finishes 1/2 the job and figures he's done enough for me for this 6 months??
I feel pretty neglected.
Especially since he does all this trivial shyt for my brother..
A few months ago.. maybe back in feburary.... I rearanged my room... and so i put up on the list of stuff to do was to look for a chunk of wood that we could cut into a triangular shape to put behind my tv stand so my stuff didnt fall behind it.
..a few weekends ago, my dad takes cory to home depot... To get him a shelf, because CORY wanted a shelf.
I asked him if he looked for my chunk of wood while he was there and he said "yup, they didnt have anything that would have worked."
-.-
Since when do they NOT have wood at home depot???
I duno,
yes that was something trivial but the fact he spent all that time over there with cory picking something out, and whatever.
He didnt even ask me if i wanted to come.....
...Why is it that i feel like im being cast aside by everyone?
That if im not usefull TO them, then im absolutely nothing?
Why cant i just be here? Be a daughter? Be something he loves? Not an 18 year agreement..
..Maybe thats what i was just supposed to be.. an 18 year agreement, and now that that's going on 20 years, he's pissed im not gone yet, so hes neglecting me even further.
I wasnt a planned baby after all. I was just something that happened.
*sigh*
The world would be better off if i just didnt exist in the first place......
...and i if i had a choice in the matter, i would help the world, but there's nothing I can do about it besides be here, take up space, and piss people off, i guess.
since i have sk00l tomarrow, i figured itd be nice if he did it before school, so i can, you know, drive with less distractions.
So at supper today (8 hours ago) i asked him if he could cut them.
and sew up my backpack
and he said he could
So he goes to indiana to get cigarettes with witch-man-vampire.. Cuz hes a blithering addicted idiot
He spends like 2hrs extra down there than it takes to GET the cigarattes.
He comes back.. and im sewing up my underwear, cuz theyre all holy and we cant afford new ones (TMI i know)...
So when my thread runs out, he starts getting new thread on (not for the backpack)
and im like "Wth, i can do that AFTER you go to bed, just do my backpack now"
so he CONTINUES to get the underwear thread redone and says "well I duno if you know how~~" or some shyt.
It's like..... ....Um... Okay what about the phase where i was into sewing up EVERYTHING.. I've made like 9 Domo-kuns, Corys pillow, and the slut dress. I know how to sew by now... and he KNOWS i know.
Then he does the backpack, and i come out here to set up my shop
and so i come to O/X for a bit
finish up my underwear..
and ask if its too late to cut my bangs...
he dinks around not giving me an answer
Corys like "You dont even need them cut!"
so i show him "See, below my eye, Cant see. It's annoying"
SO he pulls down his hair and says "SEE MINES LONG TOO AND I CAN SEE JUST FINE"... -___- what an idiot
dad says "Cory i asked you if you wanted it cut last week"
...Still nothing from my dad.... twords me.
and i said .."okay... " and i start to walk out here to do it myself....
so he goes all "BLARG BLARG"
and im all "well YOU SAID you would, and YOU SPENT EXTRA TIME down there, even though you knew you had stuff to do here!!!"
So he says "well Im kinda tired now, I dont wanna mess it up"
So i said "Okay, well just go to bed, and ill do it myself."
so he gets pissed, turns the light on and says "COME HERE NOW AND WE'LL DO IT"
so im like "Um hell no, youre pissed and tired, I dont think so"
so hes yellin "GET UR ASS OUT HERE".. So im "To Hell im gunna be around some angry tired pissed man" so i go to my bathroom and do it myself.
luckily he went to bed while i was in there
So then i took a shower...
...and im back out here.. gunna get some meds.. and hopefully go to sleep.
*sigh*
Normally I would just be like "okay, just do it tomarrow"
and leave it like that.
but all this LITTLE STUPID SHIT HE DOES, piles up, pisses me off, and makes me tell him about it.
Also if he didnt sell his soul to Mrs. Dracula, he would have gotten back 2 hours earlier.... and we wouldnt have even had this problem to begin with!
Either way.. Why does he ask CORY things like "Do you want your hair cut" when he REALLY doesnt need it.. and when im practically blinded by my bangs, he doesnt give a shit.
Why is it.. when cory has something HE "needs" done, like havin the Coil put on his dirtbike... he drops what hes doing and goes and works on corys dirtbike for ~4 hours..
I hardly EVER ask anything of him.. and he NEVER asks me.. ... well.. ANYTHING...
He doesnt care how i feel about anything... (or, paying homage to my last few posts.. How the school feels about anything)
When I talk to him about things... I ask for his opinion occsaionally.. and he goes "What?"
....Cuz he doesnt even LISTEN AT ALL.....
the times he does answer me, i wonder if he just says "yup" and doesnt even know what he's "Yup"-ing to!!!!!
but the one time i ask him for 40 minutes of his time.. for NON-ENTERTAINMENT-PURPOSE STUFF...
(ie: my backpack and hair) he doesnt even care.... Finishes 1/2 the job and figures he's done enough for me for this 6 months??
I feel pretty neglected.
Especially since he does all this trivial shyt for my brother..
A few months ago.. maybe back in feburary.... I rearanged my room... and so i put up on the list of stuff to do was to look for a chunk of wood that we could cut into a triangular shape to put behind my tv stand so my stuff didnt fall behind it.
..a few weekends ago, my dad takes cory to home depot... To get him a shelf, because CORY wanted a shelf.
I asked him if he looked for my chunk of wood while he was there and he said "yup, they didnt have anything that would have worked."
-.-
Since when do they NOT have wood at home depot???
I duno,
yes that was something trivial but the fact he spent all that time over there with cory picking something out, and whatever.
He didnt even ask me if i wanted to come.....
...Why is it that i feel like im being cast aside by everyone?
That if im not usefull TO them, then im absolutely nothing?
Why cant i just be here? Be a daughter? Be something he loves? Not an 18 year agreement..
..Maybe thats what i was just supposed to be.. an 18 year agreement, and now that that's going on 20 years, he's pissed im not gone yet, so hes neglecting me even further.
I wasnt a planned baby after all. I was just something that happened.
*sigh*
The world would be better off if i just didnt exist in the first place......
...and i if i had a choice in the matter, i would help the world, but there's nothing I can do about it besides be here, take up space, and piss people off, i guess.
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Date: Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 04:53 pm (UTC)I'm sorry I haven't been around a lot lately btw ... had lots of stuff to do, and it will only get worse starting next Monday >.