caitaro: (Default)
So just a thought. People are going on about min wage and how it "shouldnt be raised because teenagers shouldnt make as much as someone with a masters" Why dont we put a min wage increase based upon how many years that person has been working? Or their age? So min wage for a 30 year might be the 15$ while teens would be 8$? Just a thought.

Literally the most overwhelmed ive been.. even lost my yogurt :/
caitaro: (Default)
Look forward to trying out the seller portion of the flea market :D

--




 I only started worrying about it since the chest pains thing, never before :'(

Like this day: http://www.boardforus.com/topic/31158-death/

Buttttt... I dunno if I ever told you my thoughts on the subject that helped me feel better... (I Kind of went offtopic in the post LOL) ->http://www.boardforus.com/topic/34240-women-more-susceptible-to-ghosts/#entry229219

Even though 99% of my chestpains are gone, some days i still worry about it so much it disrupts... well, life, lol...

And i do my best to distract myself with things ;-; thats all I can do...

Hope ya feel better...

BTW - I do wanna play more NW with Rodney, but this week is PACKED with crap i gotta do till monday.



----



T____T Had sometthing new happen today... My right side of my head got really cold for no reason, and i felt on the verge of a panic attack ( It didn't go full blown, thankfully!)

Hot bath later and a walk arond walmart, and i feel a bit better now.. But jebus, really scary...
---


Went to a larger town today, went to a couple thrift stores n stuff~

Ate at old country buffet.
caitaro: (Default)
I just finished a chapter in my book

its about a girl who gets amnesia...

and she feels lost ...

at schoool.. with her family

her supposid best friend seems odd... caring.. but od..

her boyfriend seems like nooone shed wanna be around, much less with.


and i feel... oddily.. the same.

i feel like something is missing

like a big hunk of my life that was important is just.. gone..

and i think

maybe its cuz of salam?

cuz i miss him.

But i think..

what do i know about salam?

not much

I know specific things like

his favorite color is dark yellow..

his sister wants to go to alaska..

his mom kissed him everyday before school his senior year..

But who is salam?


....I dont remember....

But either way..


It feels like someone whos very important to me, i have forgotten about..


and whoever it is.. I miss them.. a lot..


I laid in my bed after i turned the light off..

trying to remember who it is im looking for..

and i dont remember o.o


and i think.. and think..

where have i been the past few years...

Trickster o.o
and

But who have i BEEN with?

who has been my friend?

well shane was gone for over a year.. and travis as well..

online?

there was nick for awhile.. segageek for awhile...


In my guild...

bunz.. friskie.. saber.. mal.. fuzee.. salam.. dave.


But it feels like someones missing..

someone who is above and beyong everyone..

Someone who ive been friends with a long time, and i care deeply about..

Right now i think fuzee and dave are mybest friends.

but what do i feel for them?

nothing very strong..

it feels like the person i feel very strong for is missing, and i cant remember who it is..


I long to feel that strength for someone...


for as it is right now, i feel uncaring about everyone

:|.

Wish i had a best friend or something.

Wish i didnt have to go to work in 7 hours so i could sit in my room and be emo and try and remember whos missing from my life...

blarg.

*hopes stripey is in her room so she can hug her*

Grr....

Sep. 15th, 2008 11:53 pm
caitaro: (Default)
I wrote "Cut my bangs" on the to do list... about 2 weeks ago...
since i have sk00l tomarrow, i figured itd be nice if he did it before school, so i can, you know, drive with less distractions.
So at supper today (8 hours ago) i asked him if he could cut them.
and sew up my backpack
and he said he could
So he goes to indiana to get cigarettes with witch-man-vampire.. Cuz hes a blithering addicted idiot
He spends like 2hrs extra down there than it takes to GET the cigarattes.
He comes back.. and im sewing up my underwear, cuz theyre all holy and we cant afford new ones (TMI i know)...
So when my thread runs out, he starts getting new thread on (not for the backpack)
and im like "Wth, i can do that AFTER you go to bed, just do my backpack now"
so he CONTINUES to get the underwear thread redone and says "well I duno if you know how~~" or some shyt.
It's like..... ....Um... Okay what about the phase where i was into sewing up EVERYTHING.. I've made like 9 Domo-kuns, Corys pillow, and the slut dress. I know how to sew by now... and he KNOWS i know.

Then he does the backpack, and i come out here to set up my shop
and so i come to O/X for a bit
finish up my underwear..
and ask if its too late to cut my bangs...
he dinks around not giving me an answer
Corys like "You dont even need them cut!"
so i show him "See, below my eye, Cant see. It's annoying"
SO he pulls down his hair and says "SEE MINES LONG TOO AND I CAN SEE JUST FINE"... -___- what an idiot
dad says "Cory i asked you if you wanted it cut last week"
...Still nothing from my dad.... twords me.
and i said .."okay... " and i start to walk out here to do it myself....
so he goes all "BLARG BLARG"
and im all "well YOU SAID you would, and YOU SPENT EXTRA TIME down there, even though you knew you had stuff to do here!!!"
So he says "well Im kinda tired now, I dont wanna mess it up"
So i said "Okay, well just go to bed, and ill do it myself."
so he gets pissed, turns the light on and says "COME HERE NOW AND WE'LL DO IT"
so im like "Um hell no, youre pissed and tired, I dont think so"
so hes yellin "GET UR ASS OUT HERE".. So im "To Hell im gunna be around some angry tired pissed man" so i go to my bathroom and do it myself.
luckily he went to bed while i was in there
So then i took a shower...

...and im back out here.. gunna get some meds.. and hopefully go to sleep.

*sigh*

Normally I would just be like "okay, just do it tomarrow"
and leave it like that.

but all this LITTLE STUPID SHIT HE DOES, piles up, pisses me off, and makes me tell him about it.

Also if he didnt sell his soul to Mrs. Dracula, he would have gotten back 2 hours earlier.... and we wouldnt have even had this problem to begin with!


Either way.. Why does he ask CORY things like "Do you want your hair cut" when he REALLY doesnt need it.. and when im practically blinded by my bangs, he doesnt give a shit.

Why is it.. when cory has something HE "needs" done, like havin the Coil put on his dirtbike... he drops what hes doing and goes and works on corys dirtbike for ~4 hours..


I hardly EVER ask anything of him.. and he NEVER asks me.. ... well.. ANYTHING...

He doesnt care how i feel about anything... (or, paying homage to my last few posts.. How the school feels about anything)

When I talk to him about things... I ask for his opinion occsaionally.. and he goes "What?"

....Cuz he doesnt even LISTEN AT ALL.....

the times he does answer me, i wonder if he just says "yup" and doesnt even know what he's "Yup"-ing to!!!!!

but the one time i ask him for 40 minutes of his time.. for NON-ENTERTAINMENT-PURPOSE STUFF...

(ie: my backpack and hair) he doesnt even care.... Finishes 1/2 the job and figures he's done enough for me for this 6 months??

I feel pretty neglected.

Especially since he does all this trivial shyt for my brother..


A few months ago.. maybe back in feburary.... I rearanged my room... and so i put up on the list of stuff to do was to look for a chunk of wood that we could cut into a triangular shape to put behind my tv stand so my stuff didnt fall behind it.

..a few weekends ago, my dad takes cory to home depot... To get him a shelf, because CORY wanted a shelf.

I asked him if he looked for my chunk of wood while he was there and he said "yup, they didnt have anything that would have worked."

-.-

Since when do they NOT have wood at home depot???
I duno,

yes that was something trivial but the fact he spent all that time over there with cory picking something out, and whatever.
He didnt even ask me if i wanted to come.....



...Why is it that i feel like im being cast aside by everyone?
That if im not usefull TO them, then im absolutely nothing?
Why cant i just be here? Be a daughter? Be something he loves? Not an 18 year agreement..

..Maybe thats what i was just supposed to be.. an 18 year agreement, and now that that's going on 20 years, he's pissed im not gone yet, so hes neglecting me even further.

I wasnt a planned baby after all. I was just something that happened.

*sigh*

The world would be better off if i just didnt exist in the first place......

...and i if i had a choice in the matter, i would help the world, but there's nothing I can do about it besides be here, take up space, and piss people off, i guess.

Normal?

Sep. 11th, 2008 03:49 am
caitaro: (Default)
http://virgil.azwestern.edu/~dag/lol/Androgyny.htm
http://www.ehow.com/how_2026800_identify-homosexualtendenciesin-yourself.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normality_(behavior)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norm_(sociology)

So what is normal anyway? (pt. 2)

Presence of normality
Mainstream
Temperance (virtue)
Vanilla sex
Equilibrium
Stability
Reality
Peace
Health
Middle way

Absence of normality
Eccentricity (behavior)
Perversion
Paraphilia
Intersexual
Disease
Disability
Mental illness
Addiction
War
Crime
Fantasy
Dream
Hallucination
Illusion
Individualism


Isnt it strange that most things filed under "normal" are actually rarer and stuff filled under "abnormal" is more common...


"Social norms have been defined as "the rules that a group uses for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. These rules may be explicit or implicit. Failure to stick to the rules can result in severe punishments, the most feared of which is exclusion from the group." "What is deemed acceptable to young people is often unacceptable to elderly people"

A norm gives a person a rule of thumb for how they should behave. However, a rational person only acts according to the rule if only it is optimal for them.

So I'm not totally crazy for acting how i act (sometimes)

if it is norm for girls to think brad pitt is hawt.. If i DONT think brad pitt is hawt, but i say he is, it makes me irrational.

So in reality (or the matrix??) we should just think what we think and not care about what we're "SUPPOSED" to think.

Which is why I have respect twords Alex H.... (Name split to prevent googling weirdness) ..udson. Some random girl from quiz bowl that ive never talked to.

..at quiz bowl she wore a suit to the tournaments...

..not to mention she had long blonde hair and glasses, and i found her slightly attractive.

Go figure, she got a sex change XD

but the point is, she didn't care that girls arent supozed to wear suits :O she was herself, and I think thats an awesome way to think.

Could I personally wear a suit to school? No. Because I'm terrified of being talked about..

I got hilights in my hair in 10th grade.. Courtney Queen O' Sluts and Sonia Vanwhotealot in science class.. I saw them whispering.. and with my crazy sense of hearing at times, i listened to what they said.. and they were all "eww it looks green, how could she leave it like that.." etc.

I think I yelled at them, i dont remember ><

Probably not..

But i felt bad for x amount of weeks because............... people were talking about me... and i dont like people talking about me.

In that same class, I had neopets stickers on my agenda.. and they came up and they were like "wut is that little poke e mans or somethin?" and i was like "Ummm noo"

I should have said "No, its the animated animal incarnates of your interests! Huge pulsating dicks, lipstick containers, and TALKING ABOUT ME"

Which leads me to the "LOLOL poke e mans is for lil 6th graders"

...and in 6th grade they said "LOLOL poke e mans is for lil 2nd graders"

its so dumb.

But yeah i never walked up to them looked at their nonexistant agenda (because they were too irresponsible not to loose theirs) and say "Lol what, are those naked celebreties or WUT"

I never bothered them why the hell did they have to bother me?

And I dont even FUCKING want anyone to pull the "Oh maybe they were trying to be friendly" speach. Because they werent. And I hope they get ran over by a freight train.


The Norm of Reciprocity:

In the western world, it is a custom to exchange gifts on various holidays. It is so deeply ingrained in the minds of people that many do not think of acting otherwise.

Now, suppose you become fed up with exchanging gifts. It is not necessarily easy to change your actions. Unilaterally changing your actions to stop giving gifts may give others the impression that you are a selfish person, and that impression is probably not in your interest. Notice, that your friends may be following the norm for the same reasons as you. If that is the case, you are wrongly coordinating due to the customary norm of gift exchange and are trapped in a prisoner's dilemma game. Coordination with communication may be necessary to get out of the prisoner's dilemma situation.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner's_dilemma

^ interesting..


...also.. Money saving tip #353534365634326.4 from yours truly.

(3:14 AM) ~ Nagisa Furukawa ~:
Benedryl
(3:15 AM) -=~* Mr. Cait *~=- || watching Clannad:
Diphenhydramine HCl is the active ingredient of Benadryl
esp. Diphenhydramine XD
(3:15 AM) ~ Nagisa Furukawa ~:
Those words are big and scary. ; ;
Cait, are you a bully?
(3:16 AM) -=~* Mr. Cait *~=- || watching Clannad:
well i know active ingredients in most medicines
as.. the active incredient from walmart brand sleepaid, regular brand sleep aid, walmart brand allegy medicine, and benedryl ( Diphenhydramine ) is exactly the same
and therefor is the exact same product in different containers
So just go for the cheapest XD
(3:17 AM) -=~* Mr. Cait *~=- || watching Clannad:
(allergy Diphenhydramine walmart brand is cheaper than the rest of the 3)


http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/horn/message/23396
^Backup evidence
"In fact, the active ingredient in Benedryl (250 mg of
diphenhydramine hydrochloride) is *exactly* the same ingredient in many
sleep aids such as Sominex (among others). The only difference between
Benedryl and Sominex is the packaging and price (Sominex being
significantly more expensive)."



While we're talking about sleep...

This is interesting.... different medicines based upon WHY you cant sleep..

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070825190550AA4uvzh

Homeopathic Treatment for Sleeplessness / Insomnia, due to different reason and with different set of symptoms (No side effects or interaction with conventional drugs) :-

Sleeplessness during menopausal stage Senecio Aur 30X, 4 hourly

Cannot sleep in the early hours of night; utterly wide awake, mind active; sleeplessness due to excitement Coffea Cruda 30X 6, hourly

Cannot sleep after 3 A.M.; sleeplessness due to mental strain or sedentary habits; sleep dreamy and restless Nux Vomica 30X, at bed times for 7 days

Due to fear or panic; insomnia after shock or fright; restlessness and tossing in bed Aconite Nap 30X 4 hourly

Due to tiredness; either physical or mental; bed feels too hard; must keep moving in search of soft portion for relief in bed Arnica Montana 30X or 200X, 1/2 hourly (3 Doses)

Sleeplessness after midnight from anxiety and restlessness; has to get up and walk Belladonna 30X, 4 hourly

Sleepy yet unable to sleep; child tosses, kicks clothes off, twitches; restless sleep with frightful dreams Arsenic Album 30X or 200X, 4 hourly (3 Doses)

Sleeplessness and restlessness; specially in first part of night; gets up and walks on the floor, as soon as the bed time comes patient is wide awake Chamomilla 30X or 200X, 4 hourly

Sleeplessness due to old grief; after dreams of thieves or robbers Natrum Mur 200X or 1M, 10 min (3 Doses)

Sleeplessness due to sudden shock; disappointment Ignatia 200X or 1M, 10 min (3 Doses)

Feels sleepy but cannot sleep; clocks striking at a distance keep him awake; bed feels hot; moves about in vain to find a cool spot in bed Pulsatilla 30X or 200X, 4 hourly

Restlessness during early part of sleep; sound sleep when it is turns to rise; gets too hot in bed; throws off covers, gets chilly and puts them on again; puts arms above the head during sleep Opium 30X or 200X, 4 hourly

Take the remedy which is similar to your symptoms. No side effects or complications if taken as directed, please do not exceed the given dosage and under any circumstances do not try to mix any remedies and avoid Chocolates, Mints, Coffee, Red Meat, Alcoholic and Carbonated drinks, Spicy Rich Food while taking any Homeopathic remedies, and keep the medicines away from direct sunlight, heat strong smells and perfumes and do not store them in the fridge.
Curing without any side effects or Complications Thats the Beauty of Homeopathic Medicine

Take Care and God Bless you.
HOMÅ’OPATHIC PRACTITIONER


You are in luck. I have been using herbs for many years. I am within a few months of 60. I tell people about the herb I am going to tell you about all the time. Go to a reputable herb shop and see if they have any lobelia inflata. If not, go on the web and look it up. It tells you where it grows, all over the southwest. When you find some, take a big trash bag and collect all the leaves you can. When you get home use one of those screenwire collanders, put a big bunch of leaves in it and using cold water wash the leaves really good. Then on the stove heat up two quarts of pure water from the bottles.Put a quarter more in for evaporation. When the water starts to boil put two or three heaping handfuls of leaves in. Turn the heat down to simmer and cover for ten minutes. Strain the tea water through an old but clean white t-shirt. What you don't drink right away you can refrigerate and use later. One cup and if you have a couch made of concrete you will think it is the softest thing you ever sat on. Why, because lobelia inflata is the strongest natural muscle relaxant on earth. Hope this helps.


This sounds interesting because of " One cup and if you have a couch made of concrete you will think it is the softest thing you ever sat on. "

Thats the way seroquel makes me feel.
I watch americas funniest home videos.. which nomrally most things i dont find funny.. and EVERYTHING suddenly becomes hilarious..

Once i was on seroquel when shane was over and i didn't even care he was licking my hand (and normally i would)

also Try Melatonin. You should be able to find it at any drug store. It works wonders and it's totally natural.

and Doxylamine succinate is one of the many sedating antihistamines used by itself as a short-term sedative, in combination with other drugs as a night-time cold and allergy relief drug, and a preparation is prescribed in combination with vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) to prevent morning sickness in pregnant women. It is also the most effective over-the-counter sedative available in the United States,[2] and is more sedating than some prescription hypnotics.

In the United States doxylamine succinate is the active ingredient in the over-the-counter sleep-aid tablets branded as Unisom; however, according to the manufacturer's website, the gel-cap form contains diphenhydramine hydrochloride instead. It is the sedating ingredient of NyQuil. Doxylamine succinate is used in general over-the-counter sleep-aids branded as Somnil, Dozile, Donormyl, Restavit and Unisom-2.It is also available in combination with vitamin B6 and folic acid under the brand name Evanorm (marketed by Ion Healthcare).

I think Doxylamine is gunna be the easiest to find... Im gunna have to see if they have any at walmart...


The most common plants containing anticholinergic alkaloids are:
Atropa belladonna (Deadly Nightshade)
Brugmansia species (Brugmansia)
Datura species (Datura)
Hyoscamus niger (Henbane)
Mandragora officinarum (Mandrake)


Deadly Nightshade?? X_x

they made a medcine from it X_X while if you eat a single leaf, it would kill you


The International Longevity Center released in 2001 a report[12] which includes in pages 14-16 recommendations for keeping the mind in good functionality until advanced age. Some of the recommendations are to stay intellectually active through learning, training or reading, to keep physically active so to promote blood irrigation to the brain, to socialize, to reduce stress, to keep sleep time regular, to avoid depression or emotional instability and to observe good nutrition.

Its no wonder why my brain is becoming more stupid ><


*ok finally done closing her 24 tabs of wikipedia*

><
I look at things too much

now i need to watch ep. 3 of clannad :O

and OMG ep 2 was... better..

the girl with the star is NUTS and....

it was sad with the guy and the basketball ;-;

and then RANDOMLY they talk about someone being BI insted of BIKE.. XD

and yeah its strange XP

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