<=/

[caitaro]

so not having such a good day today. . . .

comp exploded this morning.. had to reformat n stufff...
other guild is being a-holes again. . . ><


uh
other stuff in general, i duno.


But most of all

i miss salam :(

hes still gone cuz of lack of power...

its been a lonely day. . .


and you know, how I used to just be sooooo... uber scared around him.. and how i liked him, and even asked him out, but (I WAS REJECTED ;_;)

the more i think about it,

maybe its for the better.. I still care about him more than anyone else in the world.. and we do things together...

and... i even dream about him the same as guys ive actually "been with" before in the past..

It's just... I duno.

I got this chicken soup on love book thing... and it shows, like.. how people were friends, then they went out, then everything went bad..

and really if i think about it..

What if he said yes, right now? What would change? ...nothing? besides maybe me doing more *Hugs*

but other than that i treat him as special as I think he deserves! As special as if he had said "yes!"

being IN a relationship... creates more drama, i think.. Than just friendship.. Because then it gives the, uh.. man i cant think of the word.. "things/feelings/actions you think you are supposed to carry out"

But, really.. Define friend? Define relationship? Where is the line inbetween those? Is there one?

Does there have to be?

I think we are more than friends. But really, to quote him.. "Putting you in a group is just lumping you in a group with others. To me, you are just you."

Maybe to us.. we are just us. Not "friends". Not in a "relationship". Maybe in a relationship of our own definition.

Relationship: a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection)

Maybe what we have is better than being in a standard definition relationship. All the perks without the drama!~ XD

I'd love to discuss this with him, actually. But ill prolly loose the guts to. ^_^ ahahah.


but ahh.. i came out here because i couldnt sleep.. and upon rambling to myself (who reads this anymore, srsly.. noone i bet XD) I've discovered a deep conversation... with myself.. about love. :o


now i need to go get tired so i can sleep and go garage saling tomarrow @_@ XD