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Well, it's here.
Dec. 21st, 2012 12:10 amWoke up alright. Didn't sleep much though.
Went out to Coldwater Garden restaurant, and it was terrible, and the place was disgusting :/
My arm did a really weird cracking thing like when you crack your knuckles. freaked me out big time :/
Other weird chest fluffyness.. but no tomatoes.. whaaat!?
Went to see carol at walmart, and got my 7' bean bag chair, whee!!
im really paranoid about this, not cuz its "THE END OF THE WORLD" but because its a date that has haunted me for 13 years.. Cuz in Mrs. Bolz spanish class, we watched a movie about it in 5th grade..
and ive been terrified of it since then :/
If not the end of the world, maybe this is the day im gunna die.
Im just really paranoid. lol.
I hope i get to have an entry tomorrow...
IF not, well.It's been fun, its been real, to quote Travis, lol
Went out to Coldwater Garden restaurant, and it was terrible, and the place was disgusting :/
My arm did a really weird cracking thing like when you crack your knuckles. freaked me out big time :/
Other weird chest fluffyness.. but no tomatoes.. whaaat!?
Went to see carol at walmart, and got my 7' bean bag chair, whee!!
Went to see the hobbit, and i fell asleep for about 1/2 hr. x_x
and it was SO Cold in there.. ugh
Finished backdating my journal... all up to date, in case i die today -_-
im really paranoid about this, not cuz its "THE END OF THE WORLD" but because its a date that has haunted me for 13 years.. Cuz in Mrs. Bolz spanish class, we watched a movie about it in 5th grade..
and ive been terrified of it since then :/
If not the end of the world, maybe this is the day im gunna die.
Im just really paranoid. lol.
I hope i get to have an entry tomorrow...
IF not, well.It's been fun, its been real, to quote Travis, lol
ohhhhhhhh noez
Dec. 11th, 2012 11:54 pm"Freedom. Choice. We Cherish it. There's a plan to protect our freedom in Michigan. It's called Freedom to work. Because joining a union, or not should be your choice. And choosing not to join shouldn't cost you your job. freedom to work will mean more jobs making Michigan attractive to new businesses. What wont change? Collective bargaining will remain a federally protected right. Tell Lansing, protect collective bargaining... and support freedom to work.
^ Please tell me I'm not the only one who is annoying UP TO HERE with this commercial, LOL"
and it SNOWEDDDDDDDDDD
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
news.techeye.net US scientists want to know if all of humanity lives in Matrix-style computer simulation run on supercomputers of the future. ":O Weirdness" |
This is INSANEEEE"
"Minecraft on gamecube.. Suureee"
"awake for 24hrs, CHECK!
Just am not tired o.o
Been passing the time watching chat roulette :x"
"Kitten scented socks, here we come@!"
Just am not tired o.o
Been passing the time watching chat roulette :x"
"Kitten scented socks, here we come@!"
sadnesssssssssssssssss
Sep. 23rd, 2012 09:29 pm"Last night after a few glorious hours of minecraft with Matt Vuksichi went to sleep and holy crap i was so cold and shivery >_<.. Finally slept, woke up to a RANDOM alarm going off that has NEVER in its life been turned on.. x_x.. Still freezing, took a 100% hot bath, and gunna try to nap on the couch.. So dizzy and blarg. |
:X Happiness = ?
Aug. 8th, 2009 01:06 amI can't live without people.
So im laying in bed... waiting... I gotta go to work in 4hrs.. not tired.. well i am, but sleep won't come...
and im thinking..
about work.
about how happy the customers make me
about how happy carol makes me.
Today i was just gleaming.> i dont know why, carol wasnt even there.
I just.. keep watching the fabrics counter, hopeing to help someone..
when i cut fabric for someone, or answer a question...
adn theyre just so gratefull.. and it makes me so happy.. and i smile, and sometimes talk with the customer..
as antisocial as I am..
People are what make me truely happy.
IRONY!!!!!!!!!1
Really, as long as they dont make me people greet or cashier.. right now, my life.. i am happy =3/
even though I dont have any specific person to myself, i can make many people happy.. which makes me happy.
Hell i dont even need the pay.. even if i wasnt being paid, i'd still go.
Because I like it.. I like to orgnaize, i like the exposure to people.
God i like the people.
Too much.
everything i do is for other people, i dont ever do anything for myself :X
and thats bad.. ive heard a lot..
Why was i so emo in high school???
"do something for yourself that makes you happy"
What makes me happy? Making others happy. and when im too shy to talk to others........... then its impossible for me to be happy.. which is why i was so emo D:!
heh, its funny.. I figure id be happiest alone.. quite the opposite.. quite turn of events..
I think this is part of growing up. =X
-----------
In other news..
Apparently, I'm all the rage at work.. The associates i work with call me "the mouse" becuase im quick to work and quiet... too quiet.
The managers + coaches + stuff.. adore me. One said "I wish I could clone her! ><" (their words not mine!)
I dont even know why.
IMO i do a crappy job..
a lot of the time because, heh, well. I dont know what to do. Like i dont know anything about shelfing and whatnot.. what im allowed to change, what im not.. or anything.. So i just leave it crappy cuz i duno!
if im scheduled to work for 5 hrs.. i'll work 2- 3 hours on my dept.. then wander off into other departments cuz my dept is boring cuz i finish..
One day, i think i was with carol 3 of those hours! helping her <3....
----------------------
I told them i refuse to people greet. That i have a hard enough time talking with people regularly, much less trying to accuse them of stealing something.
The personelle person ssaid that thats fine because they dont want anyone to feel bad working..
and she sent out an email to the coaches informing them of this..
I also told her id rather not cashier :P
She said that there was this one girl who was cashier, and it was too much pressure for her... So one day she just didnt show up.. and continued to not show up.. then sometime later, her dad called into walmart yelling at them for putting too much pressure on her, lol.. But they couldnt do anything cuz the girl never informed anyone of this pressure..
But yes.. as long as i am in domestics / maybe fabrics / maybe hardware.. and I have the freedom to go about as i wish.. I'm good.
and while i was laying in bed thinking of all this.. i got teary eyed.. cuz for once Im not happy cuz i feel like i belong to someone else... But because i feel usefull, i feel wanted, i feel like i somewhat.. Belong.
and really, I think that this is the first time that ive felt this.. variety of happiness. It's different. I like it.
Because of this, well.. I do it just for that. even if i wasnt being paid.. cuz its worth it........
='3
*tries to go back to sleep* XD
So im laying in bed... waiting... I gotta go to work in 4hrs.. not tired.. well i am, but sleep won't come...
and im thinking..
about work.
about how happy the customers make me
about how happy carol makes me.
Today i was just gleaming.> i dont know why, carol wasnt even there.
I just.. keep watching the fabrics counter, hopeing to help someone..
when i cut fabric for someone, or answer a question...
adn theyre just so gratefull.. and it makes me so happy.. and i smile, and sometimes talk with the customer..
as antisocial as I am..
People are what make me truely happy.
IRONY!!!!!!!!!1
Really, as long as they dont make me people greet or cashier.. right now, my life.. i am happy =3/
even though I dont have any specific person to myself, i can make many people happy.. which makes me happy.
Hell i dont even need the pay.. even if i wasnt being paid, i'd still go.
Because I like it.. I like to orgnaize, i like the exposure to people.
God i like the people.
Too much.
everything i do is for other people, i dont ever do anything for myself :X
and thats bad.. ive heard a lot..
Why was i so emo in high school???
"do something for yourself that makes you happy"
What makes me happy? Making others happy. and when im too shy to talk to others........... then its impossible for me to be happy.. which is why i was so emo D:!
heh, its funny.. I figure id be happiest alone.. quite the opposite.. quite turn of events..
I think this is part of growing up. =X
-----------
In other news..
Apparently, I'm all the rage at work.. The associates i work with call me "the mouse" becuase im quick to work and quiet... too quiet.
The managers + coaches + stuff.. adore me. One said "I wish I could clone her! ><" (their words not mine!)
I dont even know why.
IMO i do a crappy job..
a lot of the time because, heh, well. I dont know what to do. Like i dont know anything about shelfing and whatnot.. what im allowed to change, what im not.. or anything.. So i just leave it crappy cuz i duno!
if im scheduled to work for 5 hrs.. i'll work 2- 3 hours on my dept.. then wander off into other departments cuz my dept is boring cuz i finish..
One day, i think i was with carol 3 of those hours! helping her <3....
----------------------
I told them i refuse to people greet. That i have a hard enough time talking with people regularly, much less trying to accuse them of stealing something.
The personelle person ssaid that thats fine because they dont want anyone to feel bad working..
and she sent out an email to the coaches informing them of this..
I also told her id rather not cashier :P
She said that there was this one girl who was cashier, and it was too much pressure for her... So one day she just didnt show up.. and continued to not show up.. then sometime later, her dad called into walmart yelling at them for putting too much pressure on her, lol.. But they couldnt do anything cuz the girl never informed anyone of this pressure..
But yes.. as long as i am in domestics / maybe fabrics / maybe hardware.. and I have the freedom to go about as i wish.. I'm good.
and while i was laying in bed thinking of all this.. i got teary eyed.. cuz for once Im not happy cuz i feel like i belong to someone else... But because i feel usefull, i feel wanted, i feel like i somewhat.. Belong.
and really, I think that this is the first time that ive felt this.. variety of happiness. It's different. I like it.
Because of this, well.. I do it just for that. even if i wasnt being paid.. cuz its worth it........
='3
*tries to go back to sleep* XD
so not having such a good day today. . . .
comp exploded this morning.. had to reformat n stufff...
other guild is being a-holes again. . . ><
uh
other stuff in general, i duno.
But most of all
i miss salam :(
hes still gone cuz of lack of power...
its been a lonely day. . .
and you know, how I used to just be sooooo... uber scared around him.. and how i liked him, and even asked him out, but (I WAS REJECTED ;_;)
the more i think about it,
maybe its for the better.. I still care about him more than anyone else in the world.. and we do things together...
and... i even dream about him the same as guys ive actually "been with" before in the past..
It's just... I duno.
I got this chicken soup on love book thing... and it shows, like.. how people were friends, then they went out, then everything went bad..
and really if i think about it..
What if he said yes, right now? What would change? ...nothing? besides maybe me doing more *Hugs*
but other than that i treat him as special as I think he deserves! As special as if he had said "yes!"
being IN a relationship... creates more drama, i think.. Than just friendship.. Because then it gives the, uh.. man i cant think of the word.. "things/feelings/actions you think you are supposed to carry out"
But, really.. Define friend? Define relationship? Where is the line inbetween those? Is there one?
Does there have to be?
I think we are more than friends. But really, to quote him.. "Putting you in a group is just lumping you in a group with others. To me, you are just you."
Maybe to us.. we are just us. Not "friends". Not in a "relationship". Maybe in a relationship of our own definition.
Relationship: a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection)
Maybe what we have is better than being in a standard definition relationship. All the perks without the drama!~ XD
I'd love to discuss this with him, actually. But ill prolly loose the guts to. ^_^ ahahah.
but ahh.. i came out here because i couldnt sleep.. and upon rambling to myself (who reads this anymore, srsly.. noone i bet XD) I've discovered a deep conversation... with myself.. about love. :o
now i need to go get tired so i can sleep and go garage saling tomarrow @_@ XD
comp exploded this morning.. had to reformat n stufff...
other guild is being a-holes again. . . ><
uh
other stuff in general, i duno.
But most of all
i miss salam :(
hes still gone cuz of lack of power...
its been a lonely day. . .
and you know, how I used to just be sooooo... uber scared around him.. and how i liked him, and even asked him out, but (I WAS REJECTED ;_;)
the more i think about it,
maybe its for the better.. I still care about him more than anyone else in the world.. and we do things together...
and... i even dream about him the same as guys ive actually "been with" before in the past..
It's just... I duno.
I got this chicken soup on love book thing... and it shows, like.. how people were friends, then they went out, then everything went bad..
and really if i think about it..
What if he said yes, right now? What would change? ...nothing? besides maybe me doing more *Hugs*
but other than that i treat him as special as I think he deserves! As special as if he had said "yes!"
being IN a relationship... creates more drama, i think.. Than just friendship.. Because then it gives the, uh.. man i cant think of the word.. "things/feelings/actions you think you are supposed to carry out"
But, really.. Define friend? Define relationship? Where is the line inbetween those? Is there one?
Does there have to be?
I think we are more than friends. But really, to quote him.. "Putting you in a group is just lumping you in a group with others. To me, you are just you."
Maybe to us.. we are just us. Not "friends". Not in a "relationship". Maybe in a relationship of our own definition.
Relationship: a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection)
Maybe what we have is better than being in a standard definition relationship. All the perks without the drama!~ XD
I'd love to discuss this with him, actually. But ill prolly loose the guts to. ^_^ ahahah.
but ahh.. i came out here because i couldnt sleep.. and upon rambling to myself (who reads this anymore, srsly.. noone i bet XD) I've discovered a deep conversation... with myself.. about love. :o
now i need to go get tired so i can sleep and go garage saling tomarrow @_@ XD
Blargg, the big red monster!
Jul. 9th, 2007 06:40 amTo add insult to injury, Roko is on yet again.. I said hi.. I bet you guys he wont respond.
its 6am... and i cant sleep..
the worst hr of lately was between 4:30 and 5:30..
as it is the hottest day of the year... me + cory .. well.. just cory slept in the front room with the AC on..
Im layin on the floor.. and its cold cuz fan = on me.. so i throw my blanket over me..
dad alarm clock goes off.. so im 'frozen' in this position till he leaves for work.
SO he's standin in the kitchen.. IM layin on the floor.. and i start to.. well.. convulse..
but only twice..
My whole body.. just.. freaked out.. I dont even know..
then i start to get really hot.. Really really effing ungodly satanicly hot. i am dead afraid to move but soooo hot i dont even know what to do..
While i am laying there.. burning like an egg on my car in the summertime.. I am thinking..
and i thought so much stuff.. I dont know what is approprtiate for this journal.. I dont know what i have said before.. And i dont know how many angry citizens will.. well.. be angry after reading it..
as i am quite sure there is only one citizen who reads my journal on any basis.. and im quite sure he would be an angry one..
So anyway, im thinkin like.. I really dont have an interactive journal anymore.. besides myself.. I talk to myself so much anymore that it's not funny.. I hold entire conversations.. just with myself.. Mostly it happens when I dont have any other distractions.. IE: In the shower, waiting for sleep, driving, or riding.
I talk with myself.. and ask myself.. why is my dad so hatefull? Shane's mom loves him to pieces.. he's just afraid to open up to her i spoze.. Travis' mom is obsessed with travis + trevor.. wanting to go to each one of their plays each time.. telling me she is soooo proud of them.. and giggling almost like a schoolgirl.
My dad however.. I tell him that i am horridly depressed.. that i am sick.. that i am tired.... That im friggin sick + tired of pulling a snoop and juicing 24/7 now... That i need his love.. his guidance.... I need him to listen to my problems like any good parent would.. But he wont..
especially lately.
for ex: i was reading the paper and i found someone i knew that got a fine for possion of marijuana.. Now i always complain to my dad about dumbasses from school who are high, drunk, and sex up everything within reach.. He says "they are all talk. Noone does that. You're crazy"
To proove him wrong i said "See dad look here.. it says in the paper [that guy.. i dont remember his name right now o.0] got a $200 fine for possesion of mar-i-juaaaanaaaaa.. I knew him.. he talked about drugs ALL the time.. See they arent all talk they actually do it!"
then he looks up at me and says "...what did he do?"
I glare and say "Marijuana. I told you."
dad: "No you didnt"
Meh: "YES I DID I JUST READ IT FROM THE DAMN PAPER! Ill read it again.. *and i do*"
Dad: I wasnt paying any attention.
see he really doesnt care.. he does this all the time.. we were in grand rapids and i saw this car lot with a giant purple monkey on it and im like
"duuuude theres a giant purple monkeyy on that building!!!"
we drive past it..
dad figures out he took a wrong turn.. we turn around..
We drive past the purple monkey and hes like "HE~Y! thers a giant purple monkey on that roof.. haha"
and i scream at him "THATS WHAT I JSUT FRIGGIN SAID"
he doesnt pay any attention to me..
and it hurts..
and I read sooooooo many stories about "ohh my poor daugher.. i had no idea she was depressed.. i didnt recognize the signs... then she killed herself.. wah de friggin wah"
well here i am!! I am calling for help!!!
But the phones are dead.. and it's a lost cause..
The only way i can express how i feel at the moment is with this scenario..
--------------------------------------------------------
Scenario
--------------------------------------------------------
It's late at night.. 2-3am.. The temperature drops.. the heater is broken.. it's nearly 30 degrees outside.. no idea what it is inside.. as there are no lights on..
I cannot turn any lights on or i will wake /them/. If i wake /them/ it would be a very, very bad thing.
I cautiously walk around the house.. looking for warmth.. Trying to find a blanket.. To no avail.. there are no blankets.. To look for a subtitute!! The last time this happened.. I used several towels.. It worked fine.. Until it got hot out again.
I walk around the house.. looking for towels.. There are no towels.. There are no clothes.. There is nothing left in the house but bare metal, wood, and plastic..
So i sit.. in a corner of wood and plastic.. and wait.... wait for the time when it will be warm again.. But who knows when that will be?
--------------------------------------------------------
End Scenario
--------------------------------------------------------
Yeah.. im practicly a sobby mcemopants myself at the moment.. but i see no point in living..
So what if i get a job? what can i do then? move out?
If i move out? what then? Ill go to work.. go home. eat. sleep. rinse. repeat.
that is no way i want to live..
but also.. talking to myself.. staying up all night (Not by choice).. not having hardly any emotions twords anything.. and being ignored by the world isnt either..
so either way..
i lay there.. I hear my dads van start, i whip the blanket off and sit on the little couch..
trying to sleep..
thinking some more..
say "screw it." then i got up got a popsickle.. and went on here to type this..
XD I have no life..
its 6am... and i cant sleep..
the worst hr of lately was between 4:30 and 5:30..
as it is the hottest day of the year... me + cory .. well.. just cory slept in the front room with the AC on..
Im layin on the floor.. and its cold cuz fan = on me.. so i throw my blanket over me..
dad alarm clock goes off.. so im 'frozen' in this position till he leaves for work.
SO he's standin in the kitchen.. IM layin on the floor.. and i start to.. well.. convulse..
but only twice..
My whole body.. just.. freaked out.. I dont even know..
then i start to get really hot.. Really really effing ungodly satanicly hot. i am dead afraid to move but soooo hot i dont even know what to do..
While i am laying there.. burning like an egg on my car in the summertime.. I am thinking..
and i thought so much stuff.. I dont know what is approprtiate for this journal.. I dont know what i have said before.. And i dont know how many angry citizens will.. well.. be angry after reading it..
as i am quite sure there is only one citizen who reads my journal on any basis.. and im quite sure he would be an angry one..
So anyway, im thinkin like.. I really dont have an interactive journal anymore.. besides myself.. I talk to myself so much anymore that it's not funny.. I hold entire conversations.. just with myself.. Mostly it happens when I dont have any other distractions.. IE: In the shower, waiting for sleep, driving, or riding.
I talk with myself.. and ask myself.. why is my dad so hatefull? Shane's mom loves him to pieces.. he's just afraid to open up to her i spoze.. Travis' mom is obsessed with travis + trevor.. wanting to go to each one of their plays each time.. telling me she is soooo proud of them.. and giggling almost like a schoolgirl.
My dad however.. I tell him that i am horridly depressed.. that i am sick.. that i am tired.... That im friggin sick + tired of pulling a snoop and juicing 24/7 now... That i need his love.. his guidance.... I need him to listen to my problems like any good parent would.. But he wont..
especially lately.
for ex: i was reading the paper and i found someone i knew that got a fine for possion of marijuana.. Now i always complain to my dad about dumbasses from school who are high, drunk, and sex up everything within reach.. He says "they are all talk. Noone does that. You're crazy"
To proove him wrong i said "See dad look here.. it says in the paper [that guy.. i dont remember his name right now o.0] got a $200 fine for possesion of mar-i-juaaaanaaaaa.. I knew him.. he talked about drugs ALL the time.. See they arent all talk they actually do it!"
then he looks up at me and says "...what did he do?"
I glare and say "Marijuana. I told you."
dad: "No you didnt"
Meh: "YES I DID I JUST READ IT FROM THE DAMN PAPER! Ill read it again.. *and i do*"
Dad: I wasnt paying any attention.
see he really doesnt care.. he does this all the time.. we were in grand rapids and i saw this car lot with a giant purple monkey on it and im like
"duuuude theres a giant purple monkeyy on that building!!!"
we drive past it..
dad figures out he took a wrong turn.. we turn around..
We drive past the purple monkey and hes like "HE~Y! thers a giant purple monkey on that roof.. haha"
and i scream at him "THATS WHAT I JSUT FRIGGIN SAID"
he doesnt pay any attention to me..
and it hurts..
and I read sooooooo many stories about "ohh my poor daugher.. i had no idea she was depressed.. i didnt recognize the signs... then she killed herself.. wah de friggin wah"
well here i am!! I am calling for help!!!
But the phones are dead.. and it's a lost cause..
The only way i can express how i feel at the moment is with this scenario..
--------------------------------------------------------
Scenario
--------------------------------------------------------
It's late at night.. 2-3am.. The temperature drops.. the heater is broken.. it's nearly 30 degrees outside.. no idea what it is inside.. as there are no lights on..
I cannot turn any lights on or i will wake /them/. If i wake /them/ it would be a very, very bad thing.
I cautiously walk around the house.. looking for warmth.. Trying to find a blanket.. To no avail.. there are no blankets.. To look for a subtitute!! The last time this happened.. I used several towels.. It worked fine.. Until it got hot out again.
I walk around the house.. looking for towels.. There are no towels.. There are no clothes.. There is nothing left in the house but bare metal, wood, and plastic..
So i sit.. in a corner of wood and plastic.. and wait.... wait for the time when it will be warm again.. But who knows when that will be?
--------------------------------------------------------
End Scenario
--------------------------------------------------------
Yeah.. im practicly a sobby mcemopants myself at the moment.. but i see no point in living..
So what if i get a job? what can i do then? move out?
If i move out? what then? Ill go to work.. go home. eat. sleep. rinse. repeat.
that is no way i want to live..
but also.. talking to myself.. staying up all night (Not by choice).. not having hardly any emotions twords anything.. and being ignored by the world isnt either..
so either way..
i lay there.. I hear my dads van start, i whip the blanket off and sit on the little couch..
trying to sleep..
thinking some more..
say "screw it." then i got up got a popsickle.. and went on here to type this..
XD I have no life..
wow.. Today was interesting..
Apr. 28th, 2006 11:22 pm..and full of things i will never again in my life do..
So after school me and mrs hartley and miss hartley got in this brand new minivan thing that doesnt even HAVE handles o_O it has this little button you press.. *shrug*
So then... we went to fashion bug to look for some fancy clothes :\ and i had to tell them what i liked.. what i didnt like.. etc.. so we found some 1/2 way decent stuff... and then they got me necklaces o-O i duno why *shrug* but..
so the total came to like 96$... and they bought 1 thing for themselves.. but..
It touches me that.. a teacher... ESPECIALLY a teacher at the poorest school in the county.. Wanted to buy me 90$ worth of clothes.. just for graduation.. senior tea... and whatnot.. and as thanks for tutoring this kid.. whos getting an F RIGHT NOW!! >_<..
I Really.. Dont think im worth it :\ i mean.. if dad.. toook me clothes shopping at the total came to 96$... he would FLIP. OUT.. Cuz d00d.. Buying walmart shirts for 7$... Is way too much for me :\..
However i like them o_o..
HOWEVER they like to get holes in them =(..
SO i duno..
Murphy just hates me.
but that wasnt enough!! THey took me out to mcdonalds (cuz it was kinda hot out) and we got stuff!.. Mrs hartley got a pop.. Miss hartley got a pop and an ice cream and i got a chocolate shake :O the first chocolate shake i have ever had... and i liked it..
But now i feel bad.. because im totally not worth stuff :\
But.. i had fun... This was the most fun clothes shopping i have ever had.. Even though i didnt particularly get things i LIKED.. it was fun.. Because Mrs + Miss Hartley were actually MOTIVATED!! they werent concerened about the stupid PRICES!!.. we tried on what loooked cool.. they were like "ohh!! LOOK!! this one is cute!! :D" I duno.. maybe all moms are like that.. I know mine wasnt. The only time my mom got even slightly motivated is when she could make fun of me......... *sigh*
I WISH I HAD A FAMILY THAT WAS MOTIVATED
Some random guy: BUT YOU HAVE A ROOF ON YOUR HEAD AND FOOD. YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFULL
Cait: BUT I DONT CARE. I want a family that CARES. that is MOTIVATED in not letting me go naked.. one that is energetic and wants to try new things!!!
This is why i Can NOT FRIGGIN ARSE WAIT... Till i can move out.. have a family of my own.. I will be so.. effin motivated.. Im just gunna be a motivated hobo XD
*sigh* THe transition from here to there will be hard.. But im sort of excited.. but sort of not.. Because now if i feel like shiz i can just go to sleep and noone will care.. But in my own family.. i have to take care of things.. Bills.. dishes.. laundry.. sp00ny... work.. Work at home.. website if any.. Shopping.. food.. money..
I cant just randomly sleep. =(
But i love sleep.
More than anything except for sp00ny ;_;
EVIL
*hiss*
now that i think about it.. sp00ny wasnt on today o_O i hope hes ok..
So after school me and mrs hartley and miss hartley got in this brand new minivan thing that doesnt even HAVE handles o_O it has this little button you press.. *shrug*
So then... we went to fashion bug to look for some fancy clothes :\ and i had to tell them what i liked.. what i didnt like.. etc.. so we found some 1/2 way decent stuff... and then they got me necklaces o-O i duno why *shrug* but..
so the total came to like 96$... and they bought 1 thing for themselves.. but..
It touches me that.. a teacher... ESPECIALLY a teacher at the poorest school in the county.. Wanted to buy me 90$ worth of clothes.. just for graduation.. senior tea... and whatnot.. and as thanks for tutoring this kid.. whos getting an F RIGHT NOW!! >_<..
I Really.. Dont think im worth it :\ i mean.. if dad.. toook me clothes shopping at the total came to 96$... he would FLIP. OUT.. Cuz d00d.. Buying walmart shirts for 7$... Is way too much for me :\..
However i like them o_o..
HOWEVER they like to get holes in them =(..
SO i duno..
Murphy just hates me.
but that wasnt enough!! THey took me out to mcdonalds (cuz it was kinda hot out) and we got stuff!.. Mrs hartley got a pop.. Miss hartley got a pop and an ice cream and i got a chocolate shake :O the first chocolate shake i have ever had... and i liked it..
But now i feel bad.. because im totally not worth stuff :\
But.. i had fun... This was the most fun clothes shopping i have ever had.. Even though i didnt particularly get things i LIKED.. it was fun.. Because Mrs + Miss Hartley were actually MOTIVATED!! they werent concerened about the stupid PRICES!!.. we tried on what loooked cool.. they were like "ohh!! LOOK!! this one is cute!! :D" I duno.. maybe all moms are like that.. I know mine wasnt. The only time my mom got even slightly motivated is when she could make fun of me......... *sigh*
I WISH I HAD A FAMILY THAT WAS MOTIVATED
Some random guy: BUT YOU HAVE A ROOF ON YOUR HEAD AND FOOD. YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFULL
Cait: BUT I DONT CARE. I want a family that CARES. that is MOTIVATED in not letting me go naked.. one that is energetic and wants to try new things!!!
This is why i Can NOT FRIGGIN ARSE WAIT... Till i can move out.. have a family of my own.. I will be so.. effin motivated.. Im just gunna be a motivated hobo XD
*sigh* THe transition from here to there will be hard.. But im sort of excited.. but sort of not.. Because now if i feel like shiz i can just go to sleep and noone will care.. But in my own family.. i have to take care of things.. Bills.. dishes.. laundry.. sp00ny... work.. Work at home.. website if any.. Shopping.. food.. money..
I cant just randomly sleep. =(
But i love sleep.
More than anything except for sp00ny ;_;
EVIL
*hiss*
now that i think about it.. sp00ny wasnt on today o_O i hope hes ok..
