Cait's Ramblings

Legs are sooooo sore! That's what I get for doing nothing for 4 days, lol.


LOLOLLOLOLOLOL My school.. just keeps getting funnier... Here's another email i got: "Hello, The cards have been disabled for a few years. The reason is that each card requires a drive letter. We use C, D and E already for the operating system and the CD-ROMs. We use the I drive for a network purpose and the L drive for applications. If the readers where enabled they would steal the drive letters that we need for students to be able to access their documents and for the computers to run correctly. Because of this the card readers are not enabled at any campus. The front desk at Hillsdale campus now has external SD card reader that can be plugged into any of the computers so that those students who can’t bring their cable or camera to campus can still access the information on their cards, that may be needed for class. The Solution Center on Central Campus has these available for students to use as well. If you are anyone else you know needs to be able to use these at the other campuses please let us know and we will make sure they have access as well." Here's what I said: "I've never had an issue in the past with drive letters not showing up with card readers when they were working... The front desk at Hillsdale said they didn't have any external card readers, didn't know anything about them not working, and told me to call the solution center. The solution center asked me which computers they werent working in, and that they would send in a work request. I'm curious though, if they have been disabled for several years now, why does everyone act as if they had no idea this was happening? It seems rather odd....." I AM SO.. SOOOOOOO fed up with this poor excuse for a school.. This is literally the most insane thing....


It seems like everywhere I turn, everyone has been having a bad few days lately.... even people that I know that are normally VERY happy friendly people seem to be upset... I've been feeling it myself since June... It's weird how this all happens at the same time.... Either way, for everyone that is having a rough time, I hope you all feel better soon ^-^ <3 <3 <3

Hi

My names *insert my name here* Im going to make this to the point..

Im sending this to emails on the NWLB website that may, you know, have a little impact or something...

..soo..


My mom died in 2005, completely random.. noone was expecting it. (divide our income by half)

Im 19, ive been living without health insurance for a year and a half.. and it sucks.

I got top 10 in my high school, and a couple of scholarships through.. SO i could go to college, even though i dont want to.

My art teacher was amazing, he helped me get my drivers lisence, where my parents wouldnt, and pushed me to go to college.

So i went the first year.. (For graphic design).. My dad helped pay.. but because of rising gas prices, a mortgage over 1,100$ a month, and insane hospital bills, Thats all he could help me with.

Since i graduated (2006) i have put job applications in every place under the sun.. even obsquere places.. Like the Manor, a school for mentally challenged kids. if you want me to list them all, I can.

Ive got nothing, NOTHING.

So the second year of college, I had 1 class per semester.. because that's all the money i inherited from my moms stock market thingy.

So this no worker left behind thing rolls around.. and im thinking "OH hell yes, i can actually go!!! i can finish my 2 year program in less than 6!!! I can actually get a job, and be rid of this horrible lifestyle!"

I go to michigan works.. fill out the talent bank thing..

..and keep going..... fill out some applications..

......and keep going....... fill out some more applications....

They keep making me appointments with people i dont even need to see.

wasting what to get in to there? LOTS OF GAS MONEY.

Eventually i got to one person who said i need to wait until EXACTLY 2 years after i graduate (June 2008) before i can even do the paperwork.

..so i waited..

I went back..

they made more appointments with the wrong people.... i then proceed to ask them if they were going to pay for the gas money i use to get in here for them making the wrong appointments.. They say no.

..and then finally a right one..

I take this STUPID test to see if i know english.. and they need my SS# and all this junk.. I fill it out.. it takes 2 hours, because they wont let you go ahead..


They call me today.. and say I cant get the no worker left behind money because we go $416 over the 40,000$ limit.

Now.. if you look at my dads past income.. NO YEARS HAVE EVER WENT OVER THIS LIMIT BEFORE.

...but because my dad got a .10 cent raise.. It does now..

THE ONE YEAR... we can get this no worker left behind.. I cant... because of a 10 cent raise.

My luck sucks, okay.

We did fill out the fasfa.. and we only got 200$ IF i go full time.

L O L, thats enough for like. OMG, 1 book!!!!!!


You guys need to take more in consideration when choosing how the HELL you give people this money.

Know what my dad drove last year? a 1986 mini van.. that was so rusted out at the bottom, it was technically illegal to drive... The frame was nearly gone. It was dangerous.

But we cant afford CLOTHES, much less a new vehicle.

If you's like I can go through ALL of our expenses and show you.. without my brothers social security, we couldnt even pay the house bill.


So you can take your 40,000$ a year, and please.. DO some thing with it.

Dont draw the line at 40,000$ a year..

It SHOULD be based on income-spending money ratio.

This way is just ridiculous.

I should move to canada. at least then i'll be able to go to the doctor.

-____-

~Cait


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caiterz@gmail.com


I yelled at the lady on the phone.... who told me i didnt get it..

I held myself together until she told me to get a loan.

Then i started screaming at her and told her just not to even worry about it.. Then hung up.

Ive never yelled at someone like that before..... -_--


Think my email'll make an impact?

FUCK NO.

noone gives a shit about me!


so i just want

EVERYONE.

EVERYONE, to leave me alone about ALL THIS FUCKING SHIT

EVER>
and NEVER EVER TALK TO ME,

becuase i hate humanity, not just "you," whoever you are, as in individual

but humanity.

and im sick if its SICK AND TWISTED WAYS.

So here i am

*CUT*

that was me.. and from the rest of humanity.

its better this way, trust me
-_--\

Blah so i was gunna type stuff but i ended up typin it to sp00ny..


caiternoodle: well i have a trip up to jackson community college tomarrow....
caiternoodle: which i am totally not looking forward to...
Wind Sp00n Alpha: Whats wrong with that though?
caiternoodle: because..
caiternoodle: like me and dad just had a discussion that..
caiternoodle: if you go to college for 4 years taking basketweaving... and your going for a job in say webdesign... they will pick the person who has had basketweaving over you even if you deminstrate skills better than the person who has had basketweaving
caiternoodle: and it makes ABSOLUTELY no sense to me...
caiternoodle: and i just dont wanna flippin go
Wind Sp00n Alpha: O_o
Wind Sp00n Alpha: *shrugs* what are you gonna do after high school
caiternoodle: well im being forced against my will to go to jcc..
caiternoodle: i duno what im gunna do there
caiternoodle: i duno how im gunna get there
caiternoodle: or anything im doin..
Wind Sp00n Alpha: Well, have you thought of any sort of future occupation?
caiternoodle: well the only thing im good at is computers and art...
caiternoodle: so ill be in that general field..
caiternoodle: and JCC doesnt have like any art classes.
caiternoodle: and the computer classes you gotta take retarded calculous and C++ and RPG IV.. whatever the heck that is..
caiternoodle: along with like 43928593459345 other classes that noone cares about.
Wind Sp00n Alpha: Where can I see the required class lists?
caiternoodle: actually..
caiternoodle: i have no idea
Wind Sp00n Alpha: *shrug* I guess they may be usefull
caiternoodle: i have this book that just tells you what classes they have for JCC..
Wind Sp00n Alpha: useful*
caiternoodle: and its like "pick one of the following or blah"
caiternoodle: so i guess ill have to ask someone tomarrow abou tit
caiternoodle: i have this other catalog for baker college that says what you need....
caiternoodle: but baker college is 5495934693469834935miles away and costs $5345034582309823595457
caiternoodle: and i HAVE to go to JCC i have no choice..
Wind Sp00n Alpha: :P I want you to go to college
caiternoodle: i think id rather independently study what job im going into insted of taking 4 years of basketweaving, dishing out $45 million, and selling my soul to bush
Wind Sp00n Alpha: ok
Wind Sp00n Alpha: Well, even though your forced to go to college, try to have fun at least...
caiternoodle: lmao
caiternoodle: it will be the worst years of my life.
Wind Sp00n Alpha: Because your thinking it will be
caiternoodle: no
Wind Sp00n Alpha: approach college with an open mind, and you might find it to be more enjoyable
caiternoodle: because i will be forced to drive to jackson every day. Take calculous, advanced <3ing of h1O, and pizza building. I will know absolutely noone there.. I will go out of there knowing absolutely noone there.. ill have to drive home every day... and deal with crap from my dad and a manatee..
caiternoodle: Ill probably never see shane or travis or mr. loveless ever again..
caiternoodle: and my only social life will be on aim.
caiternoodle: which is sad because the only one i talk to is you and we dont even talk all that much..
Wind Sp00n Alpha: you could at least try to make new friends over there and try seeing if you can take interesting classes
caiternoodle: But i cant take interesting classes.
Wind Sp00n Alpha: Im sure that there will be other people in your situation
caiternoodle: Because they cost money and arent needed.
Wind Sp00n Alpha: O_o so what is this talk of basket weaving then
caiternoodle: um
caiternoodle: well the phrase "underwater basketweaving"
caiternoodle: is like a term meaning doing absolutely nothing
Wind Sp00n Alpha: and I thought community college classes were somewhat cheap
caiternoodle: well its $3000 a year
Wind Sp00n Alpha: sorry for being ignorant of that
caiternoodle: and we cant afford to pay our flippin house bills.
caiternoodle: yet my dad continues to smoke and worship cory and spend 40$ on beer for people he hasnt seen in 22 years.
caiternoodle: and for all my life my mom has told me that im stupid and ill amount to nothing and ill still be living here in 40 years which im sure hasnt really helped much.
Wind Sp00n Alpha: Well, dont take what your mom says to heart
Wind Sp00n Alpha: Im sure you can do things
Wind Sp00n Alpha: hi?
caiternoodle: oh
caiternoodle: hi
caiternoodle: yea i guess i can do things but i dont want to pay 200,000$ to get a piece of paper that says i can..
Wind Sp00n Alpha: anyhow, Ive heard that a college diploma is quite useful for jobs today anyways
caiternoodle: Yea but its completely stupid
caiternoodle: and you know how i absolutely DISPISE stupid things
Wind Sp00n Alpha: :/
caiternoodle: its kinda like that comunity service thing theyre tryin to make up do
caiternoodle: *us
caiternoodle: they want us to do 10 hours of community service per year... in order to graduate.
caiternoodle: will it help us in the future? NOPE.
caiternoodle: so i rebelled and just didnt do it.
caiternoodle: along with many others in my grade.
Wind Sp00n Alpha: I have to do that too
caiternoodle: although i have the hours of community service because of tutoring..
caiternoodle: I just refuse to turn them in or report them cuz people are stupid.
Wind Sp00n Alpha: and I ABSOLUTELY have to do that
caiternoodle: yea thats what they tell us too..
caiternoodle: buttttt noone will graduate if they enforce it XP
Wind Sp00n Alpha: They strictly enforce it over here
caiternoodle: Yea well your school is a lot bigger and your state prolly has more rules and such too..
caiternoodle: i mean you saw how completely laid back stuff was
Wind Sp00n Alpha: *shrug*


So yeah..

Everything in this world is completely and udderly stupid...
and i dont wish to exist anymore >_>..

I really.. really cant deal with all the stupidity.. Its easier for others to deal with it becasue..
a.) they are stupid themselves
or
b.) they have people.. friends.. relatives.. to help them through it all..

although there are some people like me..
who have no freinds or relatives or family to deal with the stupid people and they themselves are not stupid...... which is why...

i created mr. livejournal community, savants so that unstupid people of the world can unite and we can take over the world and be rid of the stupid people >_>



in a happier note.. i slept from 5-8 today and dad rented me monty python finally :)

Cait: Heyyy Kids!!! Guess what time it is again?
3497 random kids: CAITARANT!!!!!!
Cait: That's RIGHT! :D It's CAITARANT!!!
3497 random kids: CAAAAAIIIITTTAAARANNNNTTTTTTTT!!!!!!

Yep..
so.. we had our little meeting today..
and i need to write the essay for the JEA scholarship..
Then i need to fill out 500 billion more scholarships... at fastweb and here and whatnot..
Tell marianne about no social security...
Get art books for jessica... (not neccisarily right now...)


i had to write those down first cuz i NEED to do that.. and knowing me i will forget...

Alright so it was me, Mr. loveless, my dad, mrs bro, mrs griffiths, + mrs. hartley....

and we talked about college.. what credit hours were.. God i forgot by now.. me and dad were just in a fight >_>...

but.. dad was making crap up.. Saying i dont apply for scholarships because i feel as if im 'begging for money'.. Um.. i never said that.. if people want to give me money then.. umm ill TAKE IT O_o.. The only thing like that i said was.. That i will not write a letter/essay whatever.. telling people about how my mom is DEAD.... thats.. just using her.. as an excuse... and i will not do that... It'd prolly be like her though to say "Ohh.. just tell them about how i died.. i mean if its free money, its free money.." but.. im not like her...

But.. my dad says all this crap like.. "I never had the oppertunity to go to college blah de blah... your mom SAID i could go but then i couldntt blah..." and "I refuse to fill out the FAFSA... we dont apply to it and whatnot..we own too much land and make too much money. THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH I MAKE!! SHES THE ONE GOIN THERE!!!!!!!!!! NOT ME!!!!!" who the FKING HELL DOES get money from the fafsa? You kinda have to be on welfare in order to get anything from it.. My dad doesnt even make enough money to pay for our house... But he does spend the money unwisely... Buying flipping cigarettes.......

Mr. Loveless did say though.. that I have been one of the most talented students to come through Jonesville in a long time...

I was extremely touched by this...

...and that this one girl was in a simular situation back in '93... that she was the neglected child and she had no money.. they had to live in subsidary housing... and whatnot.. but she got started at clevelend Institute of art.. and she eventually had to take out loans... and went to art institute of chicago... and so she.. even went to yale and graduated from there.... so... he told that to my dad and hes like "Yar." SO we got ANOTHER Fafsa application.. and ANOTHER book thiing... and @_@... yea stuff like that so we left.. and dads like "THE WHOLE PLACE IS RIGGED!!!" cuz he found a microphonecover thing..... joking with them like they were friends... >_>....
So we were at my locker and he said "god.. all this will do is end up drowning me in taxes..." So i said "...Im not the one FORCING you to!! its THEM.. I'm not making you.. they're just.. flippin peer pressuring me into all of this..."

So we go home.... on the way hes like "well i know what a fulll time student is now.. 12 credit hours which is like 3-4 classes..."
Dad also said "Your mom could do it.. even nursing school.. raise you.. and deal with me all at the same time!! SO. CAN. YOU."
and i said "mom was a FLIPPIN genious.. and im not.. im flippin stupid..."
he said "your not stupid.. Your mom might ahve talked to you and told you you're stupid.. she did that to me too...."
so here he goes.. incorperating MOM in every EFFIN THING!!
..yeah.. mmk dont care..
then we GOT home.. and hes like "so.. what's this transcript thing?" and i said "..... Its all your GRADES......" so i go out and get it and hes like "HEY I WASNT DONE!!!!" and so i got them and came out and he said "...you just WALKED AWAY!!" and i said "..i was GETTING THEM!!!" god.. So i got them.. he was cooking supper... before he started cooking corys like "I WANNA RIDE MY GO KART!!" and dad said "..i JUST got done with CAITLINS Crap and JUST WAIT it DOESNT even RUN RIGHT!!!" so cory cried and stomped off and... Not everyone at once now.... "SLAMMED HIS DOOR!!!!"

SO i went back out here to start typin this.. and he comes out and i say "should i tell them i dont have enough math credits? i would give us an extra year to get this.. frickin college thing down..." and hes like "Umm.. how do you not?" so i explain to him AGAIN.. that i took algebra I twice and the 2nd time it counted as an elective.. HOWEVER... on our schedules.. it said "schedules adjusted to meet graduation requirements.." and mine wasnt adjusted and so hes like "WELL THEY WOULD HAVE cAUGHT ITTT.. BLAHH just PLAY DUMB TILL YOU GRADUATE.." and i say "well it would be EASIER on us.. id still get social security.. i GUESS I'd still get insurance..." the only downside i can see to telling them about it is this: 1.) They might say "Ohhh youve been so good we'll just count physics as a math credit... or 2.) Theyd say "ohh take a summer school math class.."

Soo.. because dad's an idiot.. he randomly said "... i didnt ask for your mom your mom to die.."
and i.. couldnt handle it.. im SICK and FRICKING tired of him obsessing over mom so you knwo what i blew up on him..
and i yelled "SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.. YOUR JUST FRICKIN OBSESSED WITH HER!!!!!"
Then he's quiet for a bit.. then he said "well.. she was the only thing i had.."
Hmm.. according to HER... "oh you have a roof over your head and food to eat.. LOOKS LIKE *YOURE* ***FINE***."
at least he had something.. I never had anything..... XD you know what.. I've had an online journal longer than i've ever had a real friend.. I find that hillarious..
Yes mr. journal.. You are.. the only thing i have~~~~ If you somehow mysteriously get deleted. I think i will obsess over you for the rest of my life. I will tell my children.. ".......My journal.. was everything to me.. *SNIFF*.. i never asked for it to be deleted..... and *choke* ILLNEVERHAVEANOTHERJOURNALAGAIN *start bawling*
XDD!!! *DIES laughing* *crys cuz its so FORKIN sad...*

cuz like.. ok.. then dads like "well you need to develop some social skills"
i say "well i CANT. cuz everyones an IDIOT so i dont TALK to them.."
he says "SEE ITS THAT ATTITUDE RIGHT THERE.. THAT WILL GET YOU NOWHERE.. YOU THINK YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO MUCH SMARTER THAN THEM!! BUT YOU'RE NOT!!!!"
so i say "Um.. so you're saying people who go out... get drunk.. get high.. get pregnant... are smarter.. than ME!?!?"
he says "...No.. but there ARE people who dont do that."
Then i laugh.
There's about a total population in the world of about 10 people over 15 yrs old.... under 30.. who arent OBSESSED WITH GOD.. who dont.. drink.. smoke.. and sex.. And about 7 of them live SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Generally i dont have a problem talking to adults. Because GENERALLY they're past the raging hormone phase.... unfortunatly.. my dad is not..
so dad says "just cuz people wear shorts and wear makeup doesnt make them do that!!"
..No it doesnt.. but GENERALLY.. people who do wear shorts so short and up their buttcrack with thongs hanging out... and are so insecure about themselves they must color their face every day....... ARE.. HO'S... they DO drink. They DO smoke. They DO sex. Why? cuz they're idiots.. and i cant stand them.. Ever..

and so dad says "Well.. in this day and age.. you have to interact with people.. you cant just seclude yourself away from everyone else.."

well you know what i have to say to that? Watch me.

If i were to go back next year.. i can take my math class.. perhaps take a crapload of IS art and Compy classes.. Id actually graduate with people i care about... Shane and travis wouldnt be lonely without me... well i know travis wouldnt :P~ but :\..
I can fill out more scholarships... and grants and loans and figure out all the stuff i need.. I might be able to improve on my social skills.. (HA!)

But.. I am going to tell someone tomarrow.. Mrs. Roselle if she's here.. if not.. Mr. Loveless.. maybe both.. i duno...


I just.. hate that everyone is trying to do stuff for me.. and i dont want them to.. Come on.. noone should have to go out of their way for me.. Noone. I'm not worth it..

and you're telling yourself.. "Um.. Cait.. you ARE worth it.. your a talented young kid and blah de frickity blahh."

well i'm not.. Im not smart.. Smart is relative.. Sure im smart compared to my seminar tutor student. XD!!! but im not compared to like.. Vanessa... Compared to her im like... complete.. idiot..

and it shows.. ON my Meap test i got a 3 on everything except social studies.. which was a 4.. and science which was a 2. the only reason i got a 2 on science was because 1/2 of it was physics and i was IN physics when i took it..

I retain hardly ANY knowledge..... If you gave me a quiz for some 6th grade science class.. I would bomb it horribly..
Give me a 6th grade math quiz and id prolly bomb that too.. English i might pass barely... because i know... usage.. but.. god... I don't even know my times tables... Give me 3x4 and i dont know it off hand.. i have to say.. ok.. 4.. 8... 9, 10, 11, 12.. ok its 12.. Because i cant remember it.. i just cant... and even with english.. give me a paper to correct grammer and spelling mistakes and i could do VERY good at it.. however... ask me to find the participial phrases... ask me to point out all the noun clauses.. find the adverbs... delete all the prepositions.. and.. i would bomb it horribly.. This is why im afraid of college partially..
Cuz..... I can do... some things.. but i cant do.. flippin.. basics.. i dont even know 3 x 4 for crying out loud... im just.. so horribly STUPID!!! and noone believes me.. but i am.. and i cant stand it..

and i feel just like disapearing off the face of the earth.. I really want to.. I think it would be less stressfull on more people than stressfull on some if i were just gone... however.. the people i care about would be the ones feeling most stress.. and people i moderatly and dont care about would feel less stress.. But..

Because murphy has it in for me.. all the people i care about will die... everything i once liked / like will be gone... people will continue to be stupid forever... That's just how it is... and i hate it and there's nothing i can do about it at this point... because everyone is SOOOoo discriminated by age.. I'm a lot more mature than a lot of adults out there.. yet... I cant vote... I cant drive.. I cant BREATHE without someone watching me... and even with bush tapping the phone lines. Yea that makes me feel a lot better :\... and the government giving us a number.. and labeling us.. I think i will sell my identity on ebay... hitch a ride on a boat to a remote tropical island.. and live there alone till i die. Or if murphy follows me... where i live there immortally.


Kind of why i hate religion... all these people say "oh im christian!!".... dont christians.. like... believe that... lust is a sin? and whatever? i dont know all the sins and whatnot... But i should think that.. doing illegal acts are sins too? Yet.. all these people who claim to be christian.. get high.. drunk.. and be slutty everywhere... but OOOHH waiit!!! Someone came a long and said "Oh god forgives all sins!!!!"

Um.. if 'he' does.. then....... WHY HAVE THEM IN THE FIRST EFFING PLACE?? we had a heated discussion about this in 10th grade.. people started fighting and then Mr. Claus just said "ok stop."

This is kinda why i'm friends with a lot of little kids.. they're pure.. for the moment.. They havent.. been tainted by alcohol.. drugs.. lust.. porn... it saddens me though.. That someday.. most of them will be heavily tainted..

But me? Naahhhhh Ive never drank.. never ever done drugs. I dont look at porn.. and.. i have no lust whatsoever.. I'm an asexual. A "nonlibidoist"
I suppose maybe some people would say.. "God your life sucks you never have fun!!"

Yes.. yes it does suck.. and i never have fun.. I dont even remember what fun was like...

Which is why i have a lack of opinion on things.. Im a life apathetic.. I dont care.. Why dont i care? i have no emotion twords most things..
I wish i could care.. I wish i could tell you... Wheither i enjoy corndogs or sausage more.. But somethin inside me says "..well.. i dont care about corndogs.. and i dont care about sausage.." however if you were to say "do you enjoy chicken or lettice?" i would say chicken because that's one of the few things i feel strongly about.. Either i feel strongly about something.. or i dont care...

I have incredible self control / discipline though.. i suppose would explain why i dont drink and such.. ive grown up and people have always been like.. woo dont drink.. and i never had the desire.. and in the event i was pressured id be like "no go screw a log.. Wait you already did that.."


Ive watched in movies and whatever.. people with dissociate amnesia and fugue.. they loose their personality.. Ive always wondered if it were to be possible to have an operation done where you could loose it.. or do something specific to trigger it.. I think it would be interesting to have it done.. but if i were to have it done would i know about it? Are people's personalitys linked to their 'souls'??? So if your personality were to go away.. You as you know yourself.. would not exist but something else would take over your body??????? It confuses me.. but it's so damn interesting.. I wish i knew more about it..


So i've ran out of things for the caitarant... Of course i got off the subject of college because i hate it.. People are obsessed with it and i just.. dont care.......
Lets try not to get back on subject :P I already have a headache..

WEll so ive been typing/arguing for 2 hours and im done for now....

Cya l8r mr. journal my secret lover the only thing i ever had~ <3

k.
so.
I was going to write this like i usually do but it'd end up like this: She was like this i was like that he was like this he said that..

So i wrote it in chatish language for your sanity purposes...





Everyone is like "OMG GO TO COLLEGE!!!!! YOUR TALENT CANT BE WASSTEEDD OMGWTFBBQQ~~~~"
Cait: "..yea whatever.."
Dad: "Your mom *blah blah 3 hours rant*sex *Tearey eyed* i never got the chance to gooo blahh your mom is teh pwn go sex her up!"
Cait: "...But i hate JCC If your forcing me to go... id rather go to art institute of suburban chicago"
Dad: "She got her 4 yr degree at JCC.. so you can tooo blah sex."
Cait: "k.."
dad "The FAFSA is STUPID.. it sex doesnt even .. YOU DONT NEED MY EFFIN TAX sex SHIZZLE!!!"
Cait: "But you HAVE to fill it out!!!"
dad: "But weresex not even eligable!!"
Cait: "They said you have to anyway!! and they said you cant tell if your elligable or not by this paper.."
dad: "-_sex_-.."
Pretend Counceler Lady: "Soooooo... hows the college search thingy goin?"
Cait: "Dads makin me go to JCC."
Pretend Counceler Lady: "OOoohhh... okayyyy....... yar."
Cait: "Yeah"
Dad: "I Called social security.. They said that you dont get any SS after you turn 18 WHATsoever.
Cait: "K dont care"
Pretend Counceler Lady: "FIlled out any scholorships?"
Cait: "well my dad called SS office and they said we dont get any money at all now.."
Pretend Counceler Lady: ":D SCHOLOARSHIPS!"
Cait: "Even if college is completely free tuition.. we cant afford the gas to go to Jackson + back every day.. Plus books.. whatever.."
Pretend Counceler Lady: "=DD!!!!!! STUDENT LOOOAANNNS!!!! :DDDQ@R()Q#$)Q(FIASABBQ"
Cait: "Cant afford."
Mr. Loveless: "the only one who can shape your future is you!!! if you dont go to college you will be a burger flipper!!"
Cait: "But we dont have enough money!!"
Mr. Loveless: "Scholorships!"
Cait: "Even if college is completely free tuition.. we cant afford the gas to go to Jackson + back every day.. Plus books.. whatever.."
Mr. Loveless: "Student Loans!!! Besides you might only have a class up there once or twice a week.. the rest you can take at hillsdale.."
Cait: "...yeah..."
Mr. Loveless: "NEWBERRY. Go fill out schoolorships NOW BEOTCH!!":
Cait: "fine.." *Gets applications* *puts in locker*
Mr. Loveless: ":D go get more!!"
Cait: "....Fine.." *Gets more* *Puts in locker*
JCC lady: "We are only a 2 year school! :D"
Cait: "But my dad said my mom got a 4 year nursing RN thingy there.."
JCC Lady: "well weve always been a 2 year college.. Theres other colleges which have campuses ON jcc.. but WE .. personally..dont have 4 year degrees. So.. thats impossible"
Cait: "O_o"
JCC Lady: "set up an appt so we can discuss the shizzle my nizzle!"
cait: "The JCC lady said its only a 2 yr school"
Dad: ".... .. ...... .... ... *tearey eyed*sex YOUR MOTHER.. got a 4 year degreee thereeeeeeee blahh blahhhh sex"
Cait: "...someone is lying to me...."
Dad "......"
Cait: "We need to call the JCC lady.."
Dad: "When?sex"
Cait: "Sometime.."
Dad: "...ok.... what sex for?"
Cait: "Ummm....To discuss... uh.. I guess just to humor Mr. Loveless.. You know everyone is pressuring me SOOOOO much... to do this and i TELL them we cant afford it!! but they DONT CARE.. they say i MUST GO."
Dad: "Um.. Sosex i guess Mr. Loveless issex going to pay for itsex too?"
Cait: "no... YOU KNOW.> i dont even WANT to go to college.. i mean all you get is a FLIPPIN piece of PAPER what does it say NOTHING!!"
Dad: "EsexXsexAsexCsexTsexLsexYsex!!!!!!!!!!!"
Cait: "I mean ok.. Even iff... I do Go to college i could learn negative stuff.. and theyd hire me over someone who knows more.."
Dad: "Yea see.. i sexnever went to collegesex but.. *tearey sexeyed* I WISH I HAD!!!!sex"
Cait's thoughts: THIS WHOLE EFFING COUNTRY(/world) IS A CONSPIRACY!!! NUMBERING YOU.. KEEPING TRACK OF YOUR EVERY MOVE.> YOUR EVERY WORD.. EVERY SOUND YOU MAKE.. PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO HUMPING EVERY LAST THING YOU SEE.. SHAPING YOUR EYEBROWS LIKE RAINBOWS.. CUTTING THE FUZZ OFF YOURSELF USING A KNIFE FOR NO FLIPPING REASON... FORCING YOU TO PAY PEOPLE TO TALK TO YOU FOR HOURS THEN WRITE STUFF ON PAPER.. GIVE IT TO THEM.. THEN AFTER 30 BILLION YEARS YOUR WEARING CLOTHES FROM GOOD WILL AND YOU GET THAT EFFIN PIECE OF PAPER.. and YOU CAN FINALLY GET A JOB.. THEN AFTER 245 MORE YEARS YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDKIDS FINALLY PAY OFF YOUR LOANS. but do you care? NO YOUR DEAD!! so thats exactly my way of thinking.. Well.. Im going to die eventually.. Will anyone care? nope. WIll they care how fat i was? Nope. Then i dont need no flippin arse grass diet. Cuz i dont care.. Noone else cares. Why not attempt to enjoy this pathetic excuse for a life while you can? Will anyone care where i got my clothes? Noooopee.. Will anyone care about http://caitaro.livejournal.com? Noooooo But Cait DOES so cait CONTINUES IT... Why? Because if cait didnt DO THE JOURNAL EVERY DAy.. she would forget EVERYTHING because of constant dissociate FUGUE. See.. this is why.. I want to live.. (pretty much) by myself.. on an island.. With only my instincts to survive.. Why? I care about WORKING to survive.. i DONT care about.. how rainbowey my eyebrows work.. I tell sp00ny this but he says.. That "Ohh but this life is so much better.... blah" Id rather have the fear of possibly being eaten alive... Than live in a world with humans.. Sad i know but i dont care... This is how i feel and It prolly wont change unless this world changes..."
dad: "SUPPERS DONE.sex."
Caits thoughts: "...a temporary distraction from my ramble about how live sucks.. alas.. I will return someday..... unfortunatly.."

Welll
I Woke up at 11 today aaaaaand dads like
"Jerrie was up till 4 AM last night PICKIGN LICE OFF DANIELLES HEAD"

So im like "*Insert scared face here*"
And so dad gets his flashlight and checks me over and he says im okay but he didnt really look very hard :O

but anyway.. Danielle's "step-dad-to-be" got into an accident on I-75 or something.. and jackknived his gravel train and like totaled it..

Looks like their christmas is gunna suck o_O
Danielle got lice for christmas and Doug got a totaled gravel train... and a hurt shoulder...
but he doesnt have insurance so he cant get it xrayed or anything.

Not my fault..


But anyway... Danielle's family will prolly have a better xmas than we will.. because of this shit..

Yeah.. Dad's going to be bawling tomarrow.

And we put our tree up yesterday. Yeah. Yesterday.. So dad brang the presents out and hmmm.. i have a grand total of........ 4 presents! YAY!

Of those 4... I know i got the Sims 2 for Gamecube.. Which.. i totally didnt want.. and he RANDOMYL bought it for me..
EVEN after i said
"NO.. theres NOTHING you can buy for me.. that's not on ebay."

but did he lisetn? NO.
He goes out and buys a STUPID game... and not even the system i'd want to get it for.. X)_X
I guess he cant take a hint

Cuz its like.. D00d. Dont get me stuff for christmas.. that i didnt ask for. Because that's just wasting your money.
I'd never play the sims 2 for GC> I hope he saved the receipt because i'm taking it back. Yeah.

Anyway.. Theres another present.. which is a big box.. and i thought it was Mario DDR.. which i DID want.. and i had mentioned that to him SEVERAL times... However on the wrapping it says "FRAGILE GLASS. DONT SHAKE".. So its not Mario DDR. Darn. It's probably a stupid religious snow globe or statue or something. They have those at walmart.. I Told my dad "*POints at religious snow globe/statues* IF you ever find somoething dragon like that for me.. get it because thats cool." But then again.. My dad has a sensor in his ears that filters out everything i say. So He SAW me point at it.. and probably got it.. Why do people never listen?


There's another semi-big present.. Which is long.. and about 4 In thick..
Hm... what could it be... what could it beeee..
Perhaps its a craft set for like 7 year olds.... ... Sometimes i like those :O But it's probably one of the retarded craft set.. like.. Build a snoman out of felt and glue. Yeah. Retarded.

The last one is.. this.. little THING. which kinda looks like a pack of matchbox cars.. or something..
It might be the 6$ pack of 3 pens that i wanted /for my birthday/.. I like those pens.. they write so smooth :O~~~ its like chocolate.. XD


Anyways. There we have it for my christmas.

And if you're reading this.. and you have kids... Whos mother just died.. and your only giving them very limited amount of money to use for christmas.. Don't go out and buy 40$ for a video game they never even said they wanted. Chances are.. They dont want it! I mean

OK.
The sims are okay.. but not for 40$.. alright.. The sims is one of those games i play for like a week and im like "oh. this is stupid. *Puts it on shelf for eternity*"

If dad wanted to get me 40$ worth of sims.. he COULD have gotten me the Sims with all 7 expansion packs for PC.. for 40$.. which if you were to buy them all seperatly would be like,.. what.. $100 at least? Yeah.

I know it looks like im whining about all this. But i'm sick.. of seeing my freinds get like.. $3.2 million worth of crap.. When i get *GASP GASP* 100$.. that's not even 1/6th of my social security.. for ONE month..

and as you all prolly know.. The social security for me.. doesnt actually get used.. On me. It gets used to pay house bills. And thats it.

And dad.. (If you didnt know.. but you prolly do) ...is forcing me to go to JCC to college.. While i have to live here.. and jackson is a FRIKIIN Hour away from here.. ...next year.. WHy? Just so he can have his PRECIOUS SOCIAL SECURITY FOR ME!!!!!

Ugh.. He's just using me for money.. And i've confronted him about this before.

I've said
"YOUR JUST USING ME FOR MY SOCIAL SECURITY MONEY!"
And hes like
"WELL I DUNO IF I EVEN GET TO SEE THAT MONEY! THEY MIGHT TAKE IT STRAIT AND APPLY IT TO COLLEGE"

Yeah. Like the social security people KNOW how much im going to owe on the college crap.

They're going to send it to him.. and hes going to buy cigarettes.. and buy Every last thing cory has ever wanted.. for him

he SAYS.. he doesnt spoil cory but he does >_> He always takes cory to Lynne's house when im at shanes house.. they always eat out when im at shanes house.. They go to the lake when im at shanes house.. They go christmas shoppiing when im at shanes house.. they probably blow 3,000$ on cat shit.. WHEN im at shanes house..

we NEVER do anythign when i'm home except go to walmart once a week....

So what is this? I'm their main source of entertainment? If I'm not there they have to go out and do things? and see their freinds? And eat out? And buy cat shit?

I doubt it. I sit at the computer all day long and dont speak to them. EVER.
Because i hate them.

And dad came up to me a few days ago.. Tearey eyed.. "Caitlin... Do you.... hate me?"

I said no.. because if i said yes.. he'd start bawling.. and do i /REALLY/ want to see that? NOPE!

And.. with that lice thingy.. Dad just came up to me and said
"Well.. That lice shampoo doesnt work because JERRY tried it!!!!! and it didnt work!!!!"
So cait says "WELL SHE PROBABLY WAS USING IT WRONG!!!!!"
so he says "So.. she had to coat danielles head in mayo and put a plastic bag over it for a few hours.... I guess it makes it so the lice cant breathe and die"

OK. Dad. If you put.. a plastic bag over some lice.. With uh.. mayo o_O.. It's not like they have lungs as big as a humans. THey have little tiny minuscule lungs.. that DONT need much air.. They probably have enough air in that plastic bag to last them the rest of their lives and then the lives of their children!

The only way you could like.. Sufficate the lice.. is if you light Danielle's hair on fire.. then put the plastic bag over it makeing sure theres no leaks around the edges.. IE: Merging it with danielle's head.... And wait till the fire goes out... Because if the fire cant survive.. neeither caan the lice?

OK? make sense? OK.

Mayo + a plastic bag.. just... WONT WORK.. thats like saying.. you can stop a tsunami from hitting an island if you put peanut butter all around the edges of the entire coastline @_* people are stupid i SWEAR.


S
Oh..
and heres something funny on yahoo news..

Shiites reject calls for new Iraqi ballot

Shiites?

wtf? XD is that the name of some Iraqi leader?

I can imagine it now... "Mr. Shiites! You need to call for new Iraqi ballot!" hahahahahaha. crazy stuff.

So yeah

I think im off to smoke a joint now.

BBL..

lol.. or maybe not... however if i was a druggie i probably would do to the # of stress i have right now ^_^
Perhaps ill load up on smores ice cream and go to bed.