Cait's Ramblings

Cait: Heyyy Kids!!! Guess what time it is again?
3497 random kids: CAITARANT!!!!!!
Cait: That's RIGHT! :D It's CAITARANT!!!
3497 random kids: CAAAAAIIIITTTAAARANNNNTTTTTTTT!!!!!!

Yep..
so.. we had our little meeting today..
and i need to write the essay for the JEA scholarship..
Then i need to fill out 500 billion more scholarships... at fastweb and here and whatnot..
Tell marianne about no social security...
Get art books for jessica... (not neccisarily right now...)


i had to write those down first cuz i NEED to do that.. and knowing me i will forget...

Alright so it was me, Mr. loveless, my dad, mrs bro, mrs griffiths, + mrs. hartley....

and we talked about college.. what credit hours were.. God i forgot by now.. me and dad were just in a fight >_>...

but.. dad was making crap up.. Saying i dont apply for scholarships because i feel as if im 'begging for money'.. Um.. i never said that.. if people want to give me money then.. umm ill TAKE IT O_o.. The only thing like that i said was.. That i will not write a letter/essay whatever.. telling people about how my mom is DEAD.... thats.. just using her.. as an excuse... and i will not do that... It'd prolly be like her though to say "Ohh.. just tell them about how i died.. i mean if its free money, its free money.." but.. im not like her...

But.. my dad says all this crap like.. "I never had the oppertunity to go to college blah de blah... your mom SAID i could go but then i couldntt blah..." and "I refuse to fill out the FAFSA... we dont apply to it and whatnot..we own too much land and make too much money. THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH I MAKE!! SHES THE ONE GOIN THERE!!!!!!!!!! NOT ME!!!!!" who the FKING HELL DOES get money from the fafsa? You kinda have to be on welfare in order to get anything from it.. My dad doesnt even make enough money to pay for our house... But he does spend the money unwisely... Buying flipping cigarettes.......

Mr. Loveless did say though.. that I have been one of the most talented students to come through Jonesville in a long time...

I was extremely touched by this...

...and that this one girl was in a simular situation back in '93... that she was the neglected child and she had no money.. they had to live in subsidary housing... and whatnot.. but she got started at clevelend Institute of art.. and she eventually had to take out loans... and went to art institute of chicago... and so she.. even went to yale and graduated from there.... so... he told that to my dad and hes like "Yar." SO we got ANOTHER Fafsa application.. and ANOTHER book thiing... and @_@... yea stuff like that so we left.. and dads like "THE WHOLE PLACE IS RIGGED!!!" cuz he found a microphonecover thing..... joking with them like they were friends... >_>....
So we were at my locker and he said "god.. all this will do is end up drowning me in taxes..." So i said "...Im not the one FORCING you to!! its THEM.. I'm not making you.. they're just.. flippin peer pressuring me into all of this..."

So we go home.... on the way hes like "well i know what a fulll time student is now.. 12 credit hours which is like 3-4 classes..."
Dad also said "Your mom could do it.. even nursing school.. raise you.. and deal with me all at the same time!! SO. CAN. YOU."
and i said "mom was a FLIPPIN genious.. and im not.. im flippin stupid..."
he said "your not stupid.. Your mom might ahve talked to you and told you you're stupid.. she did that to me too...."
so here he goes.. incorperating MOM in every EFFIN THING!!
..yeah.. mmk dont care..
then we GOT home.. and hes like "so.. what's this transcript thing?" and i said "..... Its all your GRADES......" so i go out and get it and hes like "HEY I WASNT DONE!!!!" and so i got them and came out and he said "...you just WALKED AWAY!!" and i said "..i was GETTING THEM!!!" god.. So i got them.. he was cooking supper... before he started cooking corys like "I WANNA RIDE MY GO KART!!" and dad said "..i JUST got done with CAITLINS Crap and JUST WAIT it DOESNT even RUN RIGHT!!!" so cory cried and stomped off and... Not everyone at once now.... "SLAMMED HIS DOOR!!!!"

SO i went back out here to start typin this.. and he comes out and i say "should i tell them i dont have enough math credits? i would give us an extra year to get this.. frickin college thing down..." and hes like "Umm.. how do you not?" so i explain to him AGAIN.. that i took algebra I twice and the 2nd time it counted as an elective.. HOWEVER... on our schedules.. it said "schedules adjusted to meet graduation requirements.." and mine wasnt adjusted and so hes like "WELL THEY WOULD HAVE cAUGHT ITTT.. BLAHH just PLAY DUMB TILL YOU GRADUATE.." and i say "well it would be EASIER on us.. id still get social security.. i GUESS I'd still get insurance..." the only downside i can see to telling them about it is this: 1.) They might say "Ohhh youve been so good we'll just count physics as a math credit... or 2.) Theyd say "ohh take a summer school math class.."

Soo.. because dad's an idiot.. he randomly said "... i didnt ask for your mom your mom to die.."
and i.. couldnt handle it.. im SICK and FRICKING tired of him obsessing over mom so you knwo what i blew up on him..
and i yelled "SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.. YOUR JUST FRICKIN OBSESSED WITH HER!!!!!"
Then he's quiet for a bit.. then he said "well.. she was the only thing i had.."
Hmm.. according to HER... "oh you have a roof over your head and food to eat.. LOOKS LIKE *YOURE* ***FINE***."
at least he had something.. I never had anything..... XD you know what.. I've had an online journal longer than i've ever had a real friend.. I find that hillarious..
Yes mr. journal.. You are.. the only thing i have~~~~ If you somehow mysteriously get deleted. I think i will obsess over you for the rest of my life. I will tell my children.. ".......My journal.. was everything to me.. *SNIFF*.. i never asked for it to be deleted..... and *choke* ILLNEVERHAVEANOTHERJOURNALAGAIN *start bawling*
XDD!!! *DIES laughing* *crys cuz its so FORKIN sad...*

cuz like.. ok.. then dads like "well you need to develop some social skills"
i say "well i CANT. cuz everyones an IDIOT so i dont TALK to them.."
he says "SEE ITS THAT ATTITUDE RIGHT THERE.. THAT WILL GET YOU NOWHERE.. YOU THINK YOU ARE SOOOOOOOO MUCH SMARTER THAN THEM!! BUT YOU'RE NOT!!!!"
so i say "Um.. so you're saying people who go out... get drunk.. get high.. get pregnant... are smarter.. than ME!?!?"
he says "...No.. but there ARE people who dont do that."
Then i laugh.
There's about a total population in the world of about 10 people over 15 yrs old.... under 30.. who arent OBSESSED WITH GOD.. who dont.. drink.. smoke.. and sex.. And about 7 of them live SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Generally i dont have a problem talking to adults. Because GENERALLY they're past the raging hormone phase.... unfortunatly.. my dad is not..
so dad says "just cuz people wear shorts and wear makeup doesnt make them do that!!"
..No it doesnt.. but GENERALLY.. people who do wear shorts so short and up their buttcrack with thongs hanging out... and are so insecure about themselves they must color their face every day....... ARE.. HO'S... they DO drink. They DO smoke. They DO sex. Why? cuz they're idiots.. and i cant stand them.. Ever..

and so dad says "Well.. in this day and age.. you have to interact with people.. you cant just seclude yourself away from everyone else.."

well you know what i have to say to that? Watch me.

If i were to go back next year.. i can take my math class.. perhaps take a crapload of IS art and Compy classes.. Id actually graduate with people i care about... Shane and travis wouldnt be lonely without me... well i know travis wouldnt :P~ but :\..
I can fill out more scholarships... and grants and loans and figure out all the stuff i need.. I might be able to improve on my social skills.. (HA!)

But.. I am going to tell someone tomarrow.. Mrs. Roselle if she's here.. if not.. Mr. Loveless.. maybe both.. i duno...


I just.. hate that everyone is trying to do stuff for me.. and i dont want them to.. Come on.. noone should have to go out of their way for me.. Noone. I'm not worth it..

and you're telling yourself.. "Um.. Cait.. you ARE worth it.. your a talented young kid and blah de frickity blahh."

well i'm not.. Im not smart.. Smart is relative.. Sure im smart compared to my seminar tutor student. XD!!! but im not compared to like.. Vanessa... Compared to her im like... complete.. idiot..

and it shows.. ON my Meap test i got a 3 on everything except social studies.. which was a 4.. and science which was a 2. the only reason i got a 2 on science was because 1/2 of it was physics and i was IN physics when i took it..

I retain hardly ANY knowledge..... If you gave me a quiz for some 6th grade science class.. I would bomb it horribly..
Give me a 6th grade math quiz and id prolly bomb that too.. English i might pass barely... because i know... usage.. but.. god... I don't even know my times tables... Give me 3x4 and i dont know it off hand.. i have to say.. ok.. 4.. 8... 9, 10, 11, 12.. ok its 12.. Because i cant remember it.. i just cant... and even with english.. give me a paper to correct grammer and spelling mistakes and i could do VERY good at it.. however... ask me to find the participial phrases... ask me to point out all the noun clauses.. find the adverbs... delete all the prepositions.. and.. i would bomb it horribly.. This is why im afraid of college partially..
Cuz..... I can do... some things.. but i cant do.. flippin.. basics.. i dont even know 3 x 4 for crying out loud... im just.. so horribly STUPID!!! and noone believes me.. but i am.. and i cant stand it..

and i feel just like disapearing off the face of the earth.. I really want to.. I think it would be less stressfull on more people than stressfull on some if i were just gone... however.. the people i care about would be the ones feeling most stress.. and people i moderatly and dont care about would feel less stress.. But..

Because murphy has it in for me.. all the people i care about will die... everything i once liked / like will be gone... people will continue to be stupid forever... That's just how it is... and i hate it and there's nothing i can do about it at this point... because everyone is SOOOoo discriminated by age.. I'm a lot more mature than a lot of adults out there.. yet... I cant vote... I cant drive.. I cant BREATHE without someone watching me... and even with bush tapping the phone lines. Yea that makes me feel a lot better :\... and the government giving us a number.. and labeling us.. I think i will sell my identity on ebay... hitch a ride on a boat to a remote tropical island.. and live there alone till i die. Or if murphy follows me... where i live there immortally.


Kind of why i hate religion... all these people say "oh im christian!!".... dont christians.. like... believe that... lust is a sin? and whatever? i dont know all the sins and whatnot... But i should think that.. doing illegal acts are sins too? Yet.. all these people who claim to be christian.. get high.. drunk.. and be slutty everywhere... but OOOHH waiit!!! Someone came a long and said "Oh god forgives all sins!!!!"

Um.. if 'he' does.. then....... WHY HAVE THEM IN THE FIRST EFFING PLACE?? we had a heated discussion about this in 10th grade.. people started fighting and then Mr. Claus just said "ok stop."

This is kinda why i'm friends with a lot of little kids.. they're pure.. for the moment.. They havent.. been tainted by alcohol.. drugs.. lust.. porn... it saddens me though.. That someday.. most of them will be heavily tainted..

But me? Naahhhhh Ive never drank.. never ever done drugs. I dont look at porn.. and.. i have no lust whatsoever.. I'm an asexual. A "nonlibidoist"
I suppose maybe some people would say.. "God your life sucks you never have fun!!"

Yes.. yes it does suck.. and i never have fun.. I dont even remember what fun was like...

Which is why i have a lack of opinion on things.. Im a life apathetic.. I dont care.. Why dont i care? i have no emotion twords most things..
I wish i could care.. I wish i could tell you... Wheither i enjoy corndogs or sausage more.. But somethin inside me says "..well.. i dont care about corndogs.. and i dont care about sausage.." however if you were to say "do you enjoy chicken or lettice?" i would say chicken because that's one of the few things i feel strongly about.. Either i feel strongly about something.. or i dont care...

I have incredible self control / discipline though.. i suppose would explain why i dont drink and such.. ive grown up and people have always been like.. woo dont drink.. and i never had the desire.. and in the event i was pressured id be like "no go screw a log.. Wait you already did that.."


Ive watched in movies and whatever.. people with dissociate amnesia and fugue.. they loose their personality.. Ive always wondered if it were to be possible to have an operation done where you could loose it.. or do something specific to trigger it.. I think it would be interesting to have it done.. but if i were to have it done would i know about it? Are people's personalitys linked to their 'souls'??? So if your personality were to go away.. You as you know yourself.. would not exist but something else would take over your body??????? It confuses me.. but it's so damn interesting.. I wish i knew more about it..


So i've ran out of things for the caitarant... Of course i got off the subject of college because i hate it.. People are obsessed with it and i just.. dont care.......
Lets try not to get back on subject :P I already have a headache..

WEll so ive been typing/arguing for 2 hours and im done for now....

Cya l8r mr. journal my secret lover the only thing i ever had~ <3

XD Brendan sent me this email with his friends' essay on it.. It's hillarious. Read.

The following was written by my friend Jordan.

In the past two hundred years, over one million Americans have died for their country. Monuments have been built and speeches have been delivered, honoring these American heroes. America is now engaged in a war where there are no heroes, no monuments or accolades - only victims. Our society has declared war on its most helpless members - our unborn children. Since that war was declared on January 22, 1973, there have been over 35 million deaths.
Abortion had affected many people these past years. Rape and incest, as reasons for legalizing abortion, are nothing more than emotional screens behind which those profiting from abortion choose to hide. Pregnancy from rape is extremely rare. A study of one thousand rape victims who were treated after the rape reported no pregnancies. There are no known studies of incest cases. Medically we know pregnancy in these cases would be rare. The reasons for which the public is approving of abortions is not always the reason of the person who wants to have an abortion. Women do not have abortions because of rape, deformed fetuses, or because their physical life is in danger. But these are the best reasons accepted by the public. Being poor, too young, unmarried, and not wanting a baby are the most unpopular reasons for having an abortion and are looked down upon by the public but are the most common reasons for having an abortion.
Abortion is legal in this country until the day of birth! Many people do not know this. If you tell them, they refuse to believe it. Yet, the fact remains that a woman can legally abort her baby at any time during her pregnancy. The only thing that changes is the method and the cost. Since abortion was legalized in 1973, approximately 1,500,000 babies have been aborted each year. One out of six women in this country have had abortions. Many times, they were not told about the procedure or the risks involved. They were most likely not informed about the development of the unborn baby inside of them. Abortion is called a “choice”. If this is true, women should know what they are choosing!
Abortion is not some magical surgery which turns back time to make a woman "un-pregnant." Instead, it is a real life event which is always very stressful and often traumatic. Once we accept that abortion is itself an event with dramatic effects on a woman's life. We must carefully look at the several methods to abort a baby. Here is one of the common ones. Suction-Aspiration In this method, the cervical muscle ring must be paralyzed and stretched open. The abortionist then inserts a hollow plastic tube with a knife-like edge into the uterus. The suction tears the baby’s body into pieces. The placenta is cut from the uterine wall and everything is sucked into a bottle. There are other surgical methods and pills.
In 1995 the Republicans gained control of Congress there had been promised a partial-birth abortion ban. Congress had followed through twice but was unable to overcome the Presidential veto. Now since President Bush has been in office the has been a ban on partial birth abortion.
Abortion is and will remain a controversial subject. The question is will the law ever be changed ¿ Abortion has affected nearly everyone. Most people know someone that has had an abortion or had one themselves. Most of the abortions done in Montana are done in Missoula and Yellowstone counties. So this problem is close to home.
I do believe this is an important issue for us to learn about because there are many people our age being affected by this matter. We need to understand that this is a serious matter involving life and death. We need to be responsible for are actions and not take what we think is the easy way out. I believe abortion should be banned. In the words of Pope John Paul 2nd “ A nation that kills its’ own children is a nation without hope”

OK so this essay starts off with saying the war is bad.. WEll duh its bad.. But this paper isnt even about the war o_O. Then it goes on to describe how rape an incest pregnancies are rare.. Um.. 99% of the time the penis -> vagina.. You get pregnant. Yeah. its nothing RARE.. it ALWAYS happens.. And so this paper is very anti abortionfull..
Hmmm well if we DIDNT have abortion.. People would be more poorer. Orphanages would be overcrowded.. Our planet would be more overrun with stupid people.. This making everything cost more cuz we gotta FEED THEM. So yeah.. The only bad thing about abortion is.. It MAY hurt the feelings of some people woo~~ omggg hurt feeelingsss.. hurt feelings are sooo bad.. guess what.. People get hurt feelings from being dumped by a crackwhore. Does that make going out with a crackwhore illegal? NO.

I think insted of focusing on making our planet more crowded.. overrunning the earth... and increasing prices and killing the economy... we can make it BETTER by using ABORTION.. to at least CONTROL the population. Humans have no natural predators.. We're basically the only thing that doesnt.. Animals dont need abortion because THEY DIE. Humans DONT. we need to control ourselves somehow...

I think insted of worrying on how to make our planet more overcroweded.. We should be worrying about if your kid is going to be a crackwhore when he grows up. If his freinds are. If your parents are. Yeah.

And last time i checked.. "its" doesnt have an apostophe after it.


</rant>

Welll
I Woke up at 11 today aaaaaand dads like
"Jerrie was up till 4 AM last night PICKIGN LICE OFF DANIELLES HEAD"

So im like "*Insert scared face here*"
And so dad gets his flashlight and checks me over and he says im okay but he didnt really look very hard :O

but anyway.. Danielle's "step-dad-to-be" got into an accident on I-75 or something.. and jackknived his gravel train and like totaled it..

Looks like their christmas is gunna suck o_O
Danielle got lice for christmas and Doug got a totaled gravel train... and a hurt shoulder...
but he doesnt have insurance so he cant get it xrayed or anything.

Not my fault..


But anyway... Danielle's family will prolly have a better xmas than we will.. because of this shit..

Yeah.. Dad's going to be bawling tomarrow.

And we put our tree up yesterday. Yeah. Yesterday.. So dad brang the presents out and hmmm.. i have a grand total of........ 4 presents! YAY!

Of those 4... I know i got the Sims 2 for Gamecube.. Which.. i totally didnt want.. and he RANDOMYL bought it for me..
EVEN after i said
"NO.. theres NOTHING you can buy for me.. that's not on ebay."

but did he lisetn? NO.
He goes out and buys a STUPID game... and not even the system i'd want to get it for.. X)_X
I guess he cant take a hint

Cuz its like.. D00d. Dont get me stuff for christmas.. that i didnt ask for. Because that's just wasting your money.
I'd never play the sims 2 for GC> I hope he saved the receipt because i'm taking it back. Yeah.

Anyway.. Theres another present.. which is a big box.. and i thought it was Mario DDR.. which i DID want.. and i had mentioned that to him SEVERAL times... However on the wrapping it says "FRAGILE GLASS. DONT SHAKE".. So its not Mario DDR. Darn. It's probably a stupid religious snow globe or statue or something. They have those at walmart.. I Told my dad "*POints at religious snow globe/statues* IF you ever find somoething dragon like that for me.. get it because thats cool." But then again.. My dad has a sensor in his ears that filters out everything i say. So He SAW me point at it.. and probably got it.. Why do people never listen?


There's another semi-big present.. Which is long.. and about 4 In thick..
Hm... what could it be... what could it beeee..
Perhaps its a craft set for like 7 year olds.... ... Sometimes i like those :O But it's probably one of the retarded craft set.. like.. Build a snoman out of felt and glue. Yeah. Retarded.

The last one is.. this.. little THING. which kinda looks like a pack of matchbox cars.. or something..
It might be the 6$ pack of 3 pens that i wanted /for my birthday/.. I like those pens.. they write so smooth :O~~~ its like chocolate.. XD


Anyways. There we have it for my christmas.

And if you're reading this.. and you have kids... Whos mother just died.. and your only giving them very limited amount of money to use for christmas.. Don't go out and buy 40$ for a video game they never even said they wanted. Chances are.. They dont want it! I mean

OK.
The sims are okay.. but not for 40$.. alright.. The sims is one of those games i play for like a week and im like "oh. this is stupid. *Puts it on shelf for eternity*"

If dad wanted to get me 40$ worth of sims.. he COULD have gotten me the Sims with all 7 expansion packs for PC.. for 40$.. which if you were to buy them all seperatly would be like,.. what.. $100 at least? Yeah.

I know it looks like im whining about all this. But i'm sick.. of seeing my freinds get like.. $3.2 million worth of crap.. When i get *GASP GASP* 100$.. that's not even 1/6th of my social security.. for ONE month..

and as you all prolly know.. The social security for me.. doesnt actually get used.. On me. It gets used to pay house bills. And thats it.

And dad.. (If you didnt know.. but you prolly do) ...is forcing me to go to JCC to college.. While i have to live here.. and jackson is a FRIKIIN Hour away from here.. ...next year.. WHy? Just so he can have his PRECIOUS SOCIAL SECURITY FOR ME!!!!!

Ugh.. He's just using me for money.. And i've confronted him about this before.

I've said
"YOUR JUST USING ME FOR MY SOCIAL SECURITY MONEY!"
And hes like
"WELL I DUNO IF I EVEN GET TO SEE THAT MONEY! THEY MIGHT TAKE IT STRAIT AND APPLY IT TO COLLEGE"

Yeah. Like the social security people KNOW how much im going to owe on the college crap.

They're going to send it to him.. and hes going to buy cigarettes.. and buy Every last thing cory has ever wanted.. for him

he SAYS.. he doesnt spoil cory but he does >_> He always takes cory to Lynne's house when im at shanes house.. they always eat out when im at shanes house.. They go to the lake when im at shanes house.. They go christmas shoppiing when im at shanes house.. they probably blow 3,000$ on cat shit.. WHEN im at shanes house..

we NEVER do anythign when i'm home except go to walmart once a week....

So what is this? I'm their main source of entertainment? If I'm not there they have to go out and do things? and see their freinds? And eat out? And buy cat shit?

I doubt it. I sit at the computer all day long and dont speak to them. EVER.
Because i hate them.

And dad came up to me a few days ago.. Tearey eyed.. "Caitlin... Do you.... hate me?"

I said no.. because if i said yes.. he'd start bawling.. and do i /REALLY/ want to see that? NOPE!

And.. with that lice thingy.. Dad just came up to me and said
"Well.. That lice shampoo doesnt work because JERRY tried it!!!!! and it didnt work!!!!"
So cait says "WELL SHE PROBABLY WAS USING IT WRONG!!!!!"
so he says "So.. she had to coat danielles head in mayo and put a plastic bag over it for a few hours.... I guess it makes it so the lice cant breathe and die"

OK. Dad. If you put.. a plastic bag over some lice.. With uh.. mayo o_O.. It's not like they have lungs as big as a humans. THey have little tiny minuscule lungs.. that DONT need much air.. They probably have enough air in that plastic bag to last them the rest of their lives and then the lives of their children!

The only way you could like.. Sufficate the lice.. is if you light Danielle's hair on fire.. then put the plastic bag over it makeing sure theres no leaks around the edges.. IE: Merging it with danielle's head.... And wait till the fire goes out... Because if the fire cant survive.. neeither caan the lice?

OK? make sense? OK.

Mayo + a plastic bag.. just... WONT WORK.. thats like saying.. you can stop a tsunami from hitting an island if you put peanut butter all around the edges of the entire coastline @_* people are stupid i SWEAR.


S
Oh..
and heres something funny on yahoo news..

Shiites reject calls for new Iraqi ballot

Shiites?

wtf? XD is that the name of some Iraqi leader?

I can imagine it now... "Mr. Shiites! You need to call for new Iraqi ballot!" hahahahahaha. crazy stuff.

So yeah

I think im off to smoke a joint now.

BBL..

lol.. or maybe not... however if i was a druggie i probably would do to the # of stress i have right now ^_^
Perhaps ill load up on smores ice cream and go to bed.

Shanes gone AGAIN!!!!!!

And..

I couldnt go to quiz bowl today

cuz of this..

and travis with his play thing..

and dads being so friggin PISSY

goin on about OMG i cant get social security for 3 months because my mom willed 25% of her money to me..

and even if i DO get taht 25%.. id just have to give it to dad because all hes doin is FRIGGIN USING ME FOR MONEY!!!! OMG!!!!!

i friggin hate how hes handing all this..
I hate how hes treating me.
i hate how he doesnt even CARE about my life...

I told him i needed to stay after school to finish my art project.... and hes like
"WELL IS ANYONE ELSE HAVING THIS PROBLEM!?!?!?" Because he LOVES TO blame all this shit on the teacher.. and i am NOT letting him be mean to Mr. Loveless cuz he didnt do ANYTHING to him or me..

But anyways.. So i was lkie "...Dad.. there ARE no other kids.. its my INDEPENDENT STUDY CLASS!!"
and hes like "well i didnt know you had an independent study class." and im like "OMFG! DIDNT YOU LOOK AT MY EFFIN REPORT CARD?!? IT /SAYS/ INDEPENDENT STUDY!!" and hees like "well i didntknow if it was in Arrrt.. or English.. or Mathhh.. or what.."
and im like
"O./ M. F. G.. WHAT the HELL ELSE ! would i HAVE iT! IN!?!?"
hes just making excuses..

he doesnt even know what FLIPPIN classes i have..
even though i print off picture of what i DO in independent study and like talk about them all during supper..

and he didnt even know i had the class..

That makes me feel really hurt..
it does.... i feel like crying because.. He doesnt CARE.. about my life at all.. Sure hes like "ohh i care about you guys and i love youuuu and BLAH DE FRICCKING ARSE BLAH,." I Think a REAL parent would be like Shanes mom.. Shes involved in his life.. She knows what CLASSES he takes.. she knows about the video games she plays... She isnt paranoide ARSE about the internet.. where my dad says "OMG DONT GIVE ANYONE YOUR FIRST NAME OR AGE OR THEY'LL COME AND STALK YOU AND RAPE THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR ARSE!""

and omg
Dont even get me started on my dad and sex.
3 words.
Hes. Obsessed.

He wont let me go to chicago.. with 2 OF MY FREINDS.. because "OMG YOU'LL GET RAPED AND SeXX0RD AND MOLESTED AND LOST AND DRUGGED UP AND PREGNANT AND RAPED SOME MORE!" why? becasue its a SUBURB of CHICAGO..
Hello?
Maybe if it was lkie the City OF chicago.. i MIGHT get raped or something if im BY MY. SELF>. but im in a SUBURB. a WEALTHYISH suburb. With a GIANT FILIPINO MAN, a TALL GAMER, and a SEXY SHRIMP to protect me... or maybe he thnks THEY would rape me. HAH! hillarious..

but like.. the first time sp00ny was to come over.. he ABSOLUTLY reFUSED to let sp00ny spend the night IN MY HOUSE..
because he said
"OH IF HE SLEEPS ON THE COUCH HES GUNNA COME INTO YOUR ROOM AT NIGHT AND RAPE YOU!"
that was the FIRST words out of his mouth when the situation arose..

and i was like
"O M F G. you TOTALLY .. dont know me. AT ALL.." he should KNOW i detest SEX he should KNOW how i HATE PR0n and SEX and STUFF OF THAT NATURE!

but.. If you mention anything to him.. the first thing in his mind is something related to Sex... Or Pr0n.. -_-.

Like.. Whenever i wake up at like 3 am.. and im real thirsty i go to the kitchen to get a drink.. i have to peek around the corner to see if hes watching a PR0n MOVIE before i GO IN THERE.. ... And often he does and i have to just go back to bed DEHYDRATED cuz hes friggin WATCHING PR0N!.

this is REDICULOUS.

and when corys in my room playing video games.. and im on the computer.. He'll go in there and flip on some pr0n thing.. and turn the volume reaaaal low.. and watch it.. and I like cant go in the kitchen.. ON A NORMAL DAY AT LIKE 6PM because HES WATCHING HIS GHEY ARSE PR0N!. and the funny thing is..
i have REALLY good hearing.. and i can still hear it -.- even if it is real low..

and he used to do this but not anymore cuz me and mom yelled at him.. He'd get on the computer and look at pr0n.. and since the computer is like in the center of the house.. If i wanna go to my room or the bathroom or the kitchen or living room i have to pass by the computer.. and he'd HOLD UP A PEICE OF PAPER TO THE SCREEN and STARE at us as we walked by.. it was so EMBARRASING.. and my computer kept getting friggin spyware on it BECAUSE HE LOOKED AT PR0N ALL THE TIME!@

and my mom HATED It when he looked at PR0n! she HATED IT.. and SO did i!!!!!

And every time we go to the movie store.. He ALWAYS go into the adult section and gets a PR0n movie. EVERY time.. EVEN AFTER he said he'd stop.. .. he stopped for like.. 1 or 2 times.. THEN HE GOT SOME MORE!@!!@!@ its RE-FRIGGIN-DICULOUS!

One time in video Village.. There was a mirror into the adult section from the outside of it.. and Me and mom and cory were standing there.. and every time he went to pick up a movie. mom was like "No... DONT.. TOUCH IT. ITS BAD FOR YOU!"

i duno if he ever heard her or not.. but omg.. it pisses me off so bad.. all pr0n should be destroyed.. ALL OF IT. i dont CARE how much you *THINK* you need it.. but its RIDICULOUS.. and STUPID and NOT NEEDED. i consider it a form of cheating >_> which is why if i EVER catch my husband/boyfreind Watching pr0n.. i would SO.. SOOOOOOOOO get pissed at them and yell and shit cuz.. its so stupid.. i cant STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!!!!!!

it just
PISSES ME OFF TO HELL AND BACK!

Anyways. its supper time and i cant think of anything else to rant about.. so.. ill bbl ^_^

<3 KT!